Title: You Find It When You're Least Looking For It
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Benton Fraser/Janet Morse
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3,250 words
Summary: Janet was so used to having to work hard for what she and the kids needed, having to play the vulnerable woman or the tough bounty-hunter by turns, that Fraser caught her off-balance. He simply offered the help she needed, and she just wasn't used to that.

Notes: What might have happened if Bob hadn't interrupted that kiss. Thanks to andeincascade and malnpudl for beta reading! (Special thanks to Mal for telling me I needed more build-up.) This is only the third fic ever with this pairing that I know of--there's one by sdwolfpup and one by llassah. Please tell me if you know of any others!

Janet was glad to have a roof over their heads, even if it was just for the night. Fraser didn't seem to have much to call his own, but what he had, he shared. Well, all right, the Consulate wasn't his, but he was taking on the responsibility of putting them up there, if his superior officer decided to object in the morning.

Janet was so used to having to work hard for what she and the kids needed, having to play the vulnerable woman or the tough bounty-hunter by turns, that Fraser caught her off-balance. He simply offered the help she needed, and she just wasn't used to that.

They stood there, watching the kids sleep. Fraser was a solid presence by her side, reassuring, which shouldn't have been so. She'd known him so short a time.

She glanced at him, furtive, at his perfect profile. His face was softened with a smile, looking down at the kids, and that got to her almost more than his looks did. Janet was well aware that she wasn't exactly considered a catch--most men would've taken a look at her three wild kids and backed off, even if they could stomach her having bigger guns than they did, which most of them couldn't.

But Fraser--Janet just wanted to lean into him, for once be able to relax and trust someone to hold her. But there was the infinitely complicating factor of Bradley, even if they weren't, well...Janet sighed.

They left the kids to sleep and wandered into Fraser's room. She should go to bed, get some sleep. He should probably go to bed too, come to that--it was late, and he had work tomorrow. But they kept talking instead, almost like they were both putting it off, Fraser telling her about his cabin up in the Yukon, and Janet talking about her place outside Whitefish. God, it was years since she'd really been up there. She'd thought it'd be a good place to take the kids, let them spend some time out of doors, but it was so hard to find the time.

She kept talking, stripping off her guns, feeling like her defenses were coming down at the same time.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this," she said, a little flustered. "I just...I just feel like I can trust you. Can I trust you?"

"Yes," he said, so close to her, solid and steady. It was almost like she could feel the warmth of his body.

"Can I trust you to kiss me?"

She hadn't planned to say it. It just popped out, but Janet couldn't bring herself to be sorry.

"I, ah--" That wasn't a yes, but his body was saying yes. They were drifting together, and their mouths were meeting, soft, tentative.

It had been years and years since she'd kissed anyone other than Bradley. Hell of a long time since she'd kissed Bradley, too, let alone with this kind of gentle sweetness. Fraser turned his head to the side, parted his lips a little, and the temptation to just let go, let her tongue accept that invitation, was almost too strong.

But no. She couldn't do it like this.

Janet maybe wasn't the most truthful person in the world, and she wasn't proud of that, but damn it, she did what she had to do to keep herself and the kids above the waterline. She was a bounty hunter, on the trail of a bailjumper. That was the truth, and not a lie.

It was also true that the bailjumper was her deadbeat husband.

She put a hand on his chest, put a bit of distance between them. "Look. I--"

He backed away immediately. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. It's just that I need to tell you something. That guy I'm after? He's...my husband."

That look in his eyes--well, at least it would've been worse to see it afterwards, if they'd gone to bed and he'd found out later.

But then he nodded, straightened, pulled himself together. "Right. I'll just--" he gestured vaguely out of the room.

"No, wait." She took hold of his sleeve. "Look. Bradley and I--we haven't--"

Damn it, just say it. "We haven't slept together for a year or so, or even shared a bed. He walked out on me. Shacked up with another woman instead, and apparently they'd had something going on for a while before that. So I told him he wasn't welcome in my bed any more, but I also told him he'd better still help out with the kids, because he's still their father, you know?"

He nodded, like he understood, but she wasn't sure he did. She suddenly felt old, tired.

"Ever been married?" she asked.

He shook his head. Yeah, thought so. He stood there, not bound by anything. No kids dependent on him, no screwed-up spouse, no mortgage, no baggage, no nothing. Just himself.

She spread her arms. "So, still want to kiss me?"

He gave her a crooked smile. "It isn't a question of wanting."

Right. Moral high ground and all that. Still, it did things to her, that smile.

"You think he deserves...fidelity from me?"

"That's not for me to say." Hard to tell what he was thinking behind those serious eyes.

"Well, I say he doesn't. He would say he doesn't. That part of our marriage is over." She sighed. "I just...I'm lonely, you know? It would be nice to find some comfort sometimes, even if it's no more than that. And I feel like I can trust you."

His expression softened. "Right."

Looking at him standing there, she wanted to take back what she'd thought about him having no baggage. Maybe he didn't have to struggle to feed a family, but he sure was carrying something. Baggage of the heart, maybe.

She nodded. Okay then, she wasn't going to pressure the guy. Janet turned to leave--she should get some sleep.

"Wait." His voice was low. "I--wouldn't say no to some comfort myself."

She turned. "Yeah?"

The next kiss was just as tentative as the first. She still wasn't sure if he was going to back away, but no, he put his hands on her hips, came closer, and she let herself turn her head and closer her eyes.

Tiny bit of stubble on his cheeks, rough like sandpaper, not soft like stubble when it grew out. She'd bet he never let it get any longer than this, shaved his face every morning like clockwork. But his lips were soft, wet, and the skin of his neck so smooth and warm under her hand. Janet tightened her hand on it, pressed him closer, deeper. God, it had been so long.

She got her body up against his, leaned into him like she'd wanted to do before, and he put his arms around her, pulled her close. God, but he smelled good. She deepened the kiss, felt something inside her flare up. He was growing hard, and she pushed him over to the wall so she could rock up against him. The kiss grew wet, sloppy.

A noise from the next room.

She pushed away, breathing hard. "Wait, I gotta check on that."

"Of course." He straightened his flannel shirt, took a deep breath.

Janet found Robbie on his feet, sleepy and rumpled. "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom."

"Sure, honey." She ruffled his hair, took him to the bathroom, and waited until he was done. Janet put him to bed again, drawing the covers up around his shoulders. Not so wild now, not while he was sleepy like this.

She waited a bit outside the door, to listen and see that he fell asleep. Thinking of Fraser in the next room, waiting for her, made her breathing speed up in anticipation. Damn it, she didn't have any condoms. She hoped he did.

"Everything all right?" Fraser asked when she came back.

"Yeah, it's fine. Robbie just needed to go to the bathroom."

Fraser nodded. He looked all proper again now, his clothes smoothed out. She wondered if she'd broken the mood, how to get back to where they'd been, making out against the wall. She moved closer, reached out to touch his arm.

"You still...?"

"Yes."

And they were kissing again. His hand slid up under her shirt, warm, dry, calloused. Janet wasn't wearing a bra--she'd never seen the point when she didn't have much to keep in place anyway--and his palm moved up, hesitated a little, then slid up over her breast. His breath hitched, like he was the one being touched.

"Yeah, go on," she said, and he took her nipple between his thumb and finger, watching her intently. It was too light a touch for her to really feel much, but that gaze on her made her feel like she was coming apart.

"More," she said, and his fingers tightened a little. A tendril of heat snaked down between her legs.

She broke the eye contact, pulled his shirt up. He took it off, and she pulled her own shirt and undershirt off over her head. His hard-on was obvious without the shirt to hide it.

The air was cool against her. She felt naked--well, she was naked, but she wasn't used to exposing herself like this. She wanted it so much, she did, but there was still a tension in her that was hard to let go of.

Fraser sat down on the cot, putting his head on the level of her chest, then glanced up, as if asking permission. Then he took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked on it. Lightly at first, then harder, until she made a noise of pleasure. "Yeah. Good."

His hair was soft under her hand, and she ruffled it up against the grain, messed up his neat Boy Scout haircut. Fraser was unbuttoning her jeans, tugging them down, and then his hand slid up the inside of her thigh. He looked up to meet her eyes again. His fingers were careful, slipping between her folds as he held her gaze. He brushed against her clit, a little bit too dry still, too much friction, but the touch still sparked an almost painful jolt of desire. She made a noise, breathless, then brought her hand down and guided his finger inside, where she was wet.

He brought his finger out, wet now, and rubbed at her clit again, and her knees went weak with it, that raw, unexpected pleasure. Taking his fingers away, he sucked at them, his tongue coming out pink and wet.

God. She leaned down to kiss him, pushing him backwards on the cot. His mouth tasted of her, and fuck, he was so solid, so warm. She'd got one leg between his, and she could feel his hard cock pushing up against her.

She broke the kiss. "Uh, do you have any condoms?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Damn it," she said with a flash of disappointment. "Neither do I."

"That's all right," he said, and for a moment she thought he was suggesting they just go ahead and do it anyway. But no, of course not. "Can I--with my mouth?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, nodding, rolling off him. Fraser got down on the floor, kneeling there between her legs. She felt exposed, with her legs spread like that, and when he got in close and drew in a deep breath, she flushed. She'd showered that morning, sure, but...

His tongue flicked out, careful, and she jerked at the sudden sensation. There was still that coiled tension in her that she couldn't quite let go of, with one part of her brain aware of the kids in the next room, and another part thinking about how she hadn't been this vulnerable to anyone in so long.

His thumbs spread her wide, and that wet soft tongue began to explore her folds. She drew in a breath, and goosebumps rose on her skin. He glanced up at her, met her eyes.

She nodded. "Yeah. Good."

"Mmm," he said. "You taste good."

And then his tongue found her clit, flicked over it, and she made a little noise and jerked with the sudden pleasure. He did it again, then again, setting up a steady rhythm, and her head fell back, thunking against the wall. Christ.

That stored-up tension was finally falling away, and she felt the pleasure building up instead, let it fill her mind.

"Would you--" her voice was hoarse, and she cleared it before going on. "Would you put your fingers in me?"

He hummed, his tongue never stopping, and then two of his blunt fingers slipped inside of her.

"More," she said. He added another, and she clenched around them. Fuck, that was good. He broke off the rhythm, going down to lick around his own fingers, then up again to swipe over her clit again, then back down, and she drew in a breath.

"Please. Please just--" and why was this so hard to say when she had no trouble talking about sucking someone's cock. She said it, just because. "Lick--my clit. Please."

He did.

It didn't take long after that, not with the steady movement of his tongue getting her closer, closer, and then she was coming almost before she was ready for it, tightening around his fingers as the waves of pleasure broke over her.

Damn, she hoped that noise she'd made wouldn't wake the kids. She straightened, still breathing hard, and kissed Fraser. His lips and chin were wet. She made a noise when he took his fingers out, brushing against her oversensitive clit, and then smiled against his mouth.

Janet felt loose all over, her legs almost a little shaky. "Wow, that was great. Hey, you're still wearing your jeans."

He smiled, too. "So I am."

"Want me to return the favor?"

He nodded, started to unbutton his jeans. She slid her her hand down his smooth stomach, down into his boxers. Oh, nice. She squeezed his hard cock, and his mouth fell open, his eyes closed.

"C'mon, get up here."

He kicked off his jeans (actually kicked them off, which made her smile) and got down on the cot, lying on his back. She didn't waste any time, just sucked him into her mouth, which got her a strangled noise and a jerk of his hips before he got himself under control.

She let her hands roam up over his chest and belly--God, he was so smooth, no hair at all--and then around to grip his ass, encouraging him to thrust, show her the rhythm he liked. He did, but with small movements, careful not to choke her. While she sucked him, she let her fingers wander down the cleft of his ass until she reached his balls, cupping them in her hand. He made another noise.

She got her mouth off him enough to say, "You like that?"

He nodded, breathless, then, "You--well, you said you'd return the favor."

"Yeah. Just tell me what you want."

"Would you--with your fingers?"

She didn't get it at first, then--yeah, he'd put his fingers in her, so he must want...

"You mean--like this?" She slid her fingers back, rubbed across his hole.

He nodded. "Please."

She'd never had a guy ask for that in bed before. In fact, if she'd offered to do it, she was pretty sure they'd have asked if she thought they were gay or something.

Benton Fraser was obviously not your typical guy, but it's not as if she hadn't noticed that before. Her thoughts jumped to earlier in the day, when she'd asked him what good he was to her if he couldn't help her out with the case. And then he'd calmly offered to babysit. Not exactly something a typical guy would do, either.

"Right. Don't you need..."

"There's lotion in the drawer over there."

She fetched it, got her fingers good and slippery, then carefully put a finger at his entrance, pushed a little. Wow, that was tight. "Like this?"

"Yes. Go on."

She pushed a little harder, got inside, felt the rings of muscle contract around her finger. He was holding his breath, holding still. She took his cock in her mouth again, and he let his breath out with a choked-off noise.

She worked her finger farther in until her other fingers and thumb were splayed awkwardly against his ass. Christ, the noises he was making. And she found herself getting off on it, too, the feeling of--well, not power exactly, but of him laying himself open like this, letting her push inside of him. Wanting her to do it. She moved her finger, sliding out and then pushing in against the pressure of the tight muscles. She found herself breathing hard, arousal throbbing again between her legs.

"I'm--" he gasped, and then he was coming, spurting into her mouth, clenching around her finger. She kept moving, and he shuddered, his cock jerking in her mouth again.

"Sorry," he said, trying to catch his breath. "I should've warned you."

She swallowed it down. "No problem."

She slid her finger slowly out, and he shivered. "Dear Lord," he muttered, and slumped back on the cot. He smiled up at her, a sweet relaxed little smile that made her heart clench unexpectedly.

"Just let me--" she waved her hand awkwardly in the air. She should probably wash it. "I'll be back."

He nodded. She went to wash, and drank some water to rinse her mouth. When she got back, his eyes were closed, but they opened again as she sat down on the edge of the cot.

"Hey," she said, stroking her hand down his side.

"Hey," he said back, giving her that crooked smile again.

She looked aside. "I should probably sleep in the other room. In case the kids wake."

"Right," he said.

But she found herself staying anyway, still with her hand on his smooth warm skin. "Can I--just for a minute?"

She made as if to lie down, and he moved over to give her room. The cot was narrow, and there was hardly room for two people, so they ended up with her back against his chest, his arm slung around her. She closed her eyes, feeling all the tension running out of her. His cock was soft and warm against her ass, and she could feel him breathing slowly against her neck. Just for a minute...

God, this was stupid. She had no business doing this, like this was something that would last.

She steeled herself, got up.

"All right. Good night," she said awkwardly.

"Good night," he said.

Janet picked up her clothes and left, closing the door quietly behind her.