Title: It's All a Joke Until It's Not
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Tags: Angst, Canon Divergent, Getting Together,
Summary: What if Buck didn't give over the power pack during the blackout?
Word Count: 16,043
Spoilers: All of Season 5
Author Notes: I chose the prompt of Joke from 01-20-2022. Lines are taken and modified from the episode 5.02.
Beta: Grammarly



Buck snagged the stack of forms and showed Ravi what parts had to be filled out by the firefighter wanting the personal charging device. The parts that Buck had to fill out were more detailed, and it was the part that had to be done well.

"Why did you pick me?"

"No one else really pays attention to this kind of thing. I got a ten-minute lecture from the captains about how this needed to be done correctly, as I guess there were issues with the last time, and the shifts were warned that the next time it happened, there would be a fine-toothed comb on things. So, I was given the job. You try your best, and I know you like to know everything. So I hoped you didn't mind helping me."

"I don't. Some of these people are really upset with you, though. They keep on calling you the power czar."

"And they can do that all they want. We have to cut our fuel usage. That means that charging the devices is limited to once a day, or those will be taken away as well, and no one will have a phone."

"They would do that?"

"We don't need them to do our job. Thankfully, I have my Kindle charged and a few power packs in my locker that will charge the Kindle up a few times if needed. So I can keep myself entertained during the little downtime we get."

Ravi nodded his head and looked at the form again before asking a question.

"I need a thing," Chim said as he stepped up.

"Thing?" Ravi asked.

"Yeah, the thing that Hen has."

"A personal charging device?" Buck asked. He eyed Chim. Chim had been on edge since this had all started, but he had been getting worse over the last couple of hours after A-Shift had returned from the last call they had been sent out on.

"Yes, hand that over."

"After submitting a requisition form, you will be issued a personal charging device. Once it is dead, you return it to Ravi, and it will be recharged for you. Do not attempt to bribe me, or you will be docked two charges." Buck flipped the clipboard with the form on it around so Chim could take it.

"Give me the charger, or you won't see Jee-Yun again," Chim said.

Buck recoiled back. Normally there was humor in Chim's tone or his face, but there was none.

"Ravi, go get Bobby, please," Buck said.

"No, Ravi, sit down and shut up," Chim said.

"Ravi." Buck looked at Ravi, who looked conflicted. "Please."

Ravi nodded, and he stood up. He walked around the table to get where Chim couldn't reach out and grab him before heading toward other people.

"Buck, give me the device."

"Not until the paperwork is filled out. It's my job, Chim."

"I need it now. My phone is dead."

"No." Buck laid the clipboard down on the table, and he set the pen down on it next.

"This is what happens when you are given a clipboard."

"Buck, Chim, what is going on?" Bobby asked. He stepped up to the side of the table, between where Buck and Chim were closest.

"Buck will not give me a battery pack."

"I see. Buck?"

"I explained the process and handed over the form. He told me to give him a charger or I would never see Jee again."

"It was a joke."

"And yet, you haven't filled out the form sitting on the table in front of you."

"My phone is dead," Chim said.

"Makepeace's was as well, but he filled out the form, took the charger, and plugged it into his phone. Why should you get something that everyone else got after they did the paperwork needed to get it?"

"It's an emergency, Cap. I need to charge my phone. Hen wouldn't give me hers and said I had to come and get one from Buck, but now he's lording what little power you gave him and holding it over everyone's heads, just like he does every single time he has a clipboard in his hand."

"Myself and the other two captains gave him the job of ensuring the chargers are all accounted for and checked back in without damage when this is all over. We lost seven the last time, and two were damaged because the person who was in charge didn't check everything correctly."

"I told him that if any charger went out without paperwork, he would be getting the shit jobs," Captain Stephens said.

Buck swallowed as the other two captains showed themselves.

"So, Firefighter Han, what is so important that you want department policy on personal charging devices broken?" Captain Glass asked.

"It's personal, Ma'am," Chim said.

"Personal. So you would like to discuss it in the office with Captain Nash while you fill out the paperwork?"

"No, I can't discuss it at all with anyone. I can't tell anyone."

"I see. So you have an emergency you cannot talk about, but you expect us to break policy for you? Do you need a cop brought in? Is someone threatening you?"

"No one is threatening me. I just need to get onto my phone. I need to check on her."

Buck sat up at that. "Her? Who her? Maddie? Jee?"

"Shut up, Buck; you are the cause of this. If you had just done what I told you."

"Yes, you threatened him to never see his niece again."

"I did not."

"Are you telling us that Probationary Firefighter Panikkar is lying?"

Chim gritted his teeth.

"Buck, go to my office and call Maddie. If she doesn't answer, you, Eddie, and one of the paramedics from B-Shift can head over. How does that sound?"

"Sure." Buck stood up and headed toward the office. He pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the battery level. There was more than enough to make the call. He didn't lock the door in case someone followed him to talk to him.

It rang three times before Maddie answered.

"Evan?" Maddie asked.

"Hey, Maddie. How are you doing?"

"Why are you calling? Is something wrong with Howie?"

"I'm calling because you are stuck home alone with Jee in the middle of a blackout, and I was worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me," Maddie said.

"Maddie, you are my sister. I will never stop worrying about you."

Maddie started to cry. It was gut-wrenching sobs. Buck started to cry himself. Maddie sounded worse than she had when Buck had found her after Doug had kidnapped her, and she had just killed her husband and was covered in blood.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hold on, please, Maddie." Buck tore out of the room, his phone to his ear. He entered the boy and found that Eddie and Makepeace were both standing at the side of the ambulance.

"He is not allowed into my place," Chim said.

"You don't get to judge that. Buck?" Bobby asked.

"She's crying, and it's...it's worse than when I found her after Doug kidnapped her. I gotta go."

"Okay. Makepeace is going to drive; Eddie's going with you. Eddie talked me into just sending him. He can do whatever is needed with the on-the-side training he's been doing for extra hours. If you need anything, call. I'll log this as a direct call to one of our firefighters. Go."

Eddie manhandled Buck into the back of the ambulance and shoved him down into a seat before he sat down himself.

Buck wasn't sure of anything on his way to where Maddie was. He could just hear her sobbing on the other end of the phone and Chim's words.

"Hey, you are going to break your phone," Eddie said. He tugged the phone free and put the call on speaker before turning the volume up all the way.

Buck's focus narrowed to that phone and the picture of Maddie, smiling and happy, holding Jee in her arms. He saw that sadness in her eyes that he had kept putting on her unhappiness of their parents going home before Jee-Yun was born. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Nearly there!" Makepeace yelled.

Buck just wanted his sister in his arms. The ambo started to slow down, and Buck tried to jump up, but Eddie shoved him back down.

"No, you stay right there until I have my bag, and we go up together. I will have Makepeace sit on your ass, Buck."

"Eddie, I can't..."

"You will get to her as soon as possible, but you are not going off half-cocked. Help me carry what we need."

Buck grabbed the adult bag while Eddie pulled out the bag that was packed for babies. He couldn't face it if Jee was hurt. He didn't know what to do if Maddie was hurt.

So much left Buck feeling like he had failed his sister.

As soon as the ambo was put into park, Buck was moving. Eddie didn't stop him this time but followed along behind Buck all the way into the building.

"Shit," Buck said when he stopped in front of the door.

"I got it. I grabbed your keys from your locker." Eddie bumped Buck out of the way and unlocked the door. He let Buck take the lead into the apartment, though.

"Maddie?" Buck called out. He looked around and found Maddie on the couch, still crying, and Jee was asleep in the pack-n-play a few feet away.

"I've got Jee," Eddie said.

Buck took off over to where Maddie was and dropped the bag to the floor before snagging Maddie's wrist and checking her pulse. It didn't feel too bad off, considering she was still sobbing.

"Hey, you gotta stop the waterworks and talk to me, or you are being taken to the ER," Buck said.

"She's going anyway," Eddie said.

"Eddie," Buck said.

"No, no. Someone doesn't cry like that without an issue, and we cannot leave her here with Jee. You've said she's been pushing you away for a long time. Something else is going on, and I think she needs to be pulled out of this place."

"How is Jee?"

"She's just fine. Sleeping the sleep of the innocent. Let me in there." Eddie crouched at Buck's side, so Buck slipped up to sit on the couch, pulling Maddie into his arms. He let Eddie do the normal checks on Maddie.

"Makepeace," Eddie said.

"Go."

"Transporting Maddie and Jee. Jee is fine, but we cannot leave the baby behind."

"Okay, I'll figure out where we need to take her."

"The best place with a women's center that can help her. I think it's PPD."

"Okay. I'll talk to the captain as well. What about Jee?"

"We will take her back to the station until Chim figures out who to let take her until everything is figured out."

"Eddie?"

"Hey, just hold her. Let her know you are here. I'm going to get the stretcher. She'll be fine. We will take care of her."

"I'm sorry," Maddie said as soon as Eddie shut the door.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, Maddie. I wish you weren't hurting, but it's not your fault."

"No, I did. I did something really wrong. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"You can apologize after you get help. I don't want to hear you are sorry before that, okay?"

"Take Jee? Please. I know you promised to always take care of her but please, take her. I can't...I'm going to hurt her."

"Oh, Maddie," Buck said. He kissed Maddie's forehead as she started to cry again. He wrapped her in his arms even tighter and rocked her back and forth until Eddie came in with the stretcher.

Eddie looked a little shocked to see Maddie worse off than when he had left.

---

Despite being on mandatory work, Buck was left by Eddie and Makepeace in the ER lobby as they went back to the station house. Buck wasn't sure what was going on, but he was okay with it. Maddie had passed out halfway to the ER from her sobbing. Buck had Jee in a sling attached to his chest. Eddie had found it and got it on him before they left the apartment. Jee was asleep again after waking up for a few minutes during transit.

A diaper bag was on the seat next to him, and Buck wasn't sure what the hell he was going to do. He now had a sister to worry about and a baby.

"Mister Buckley?" a nurse asked as she stepped up.

"Yes?"

"Your sister is being taken to an observation room. I'll take you and set you up in the waiting area there."

"Okay. Sure. Um, is there a chance I could get something to use to charge my phone?"

"We have a place you can get a charge, yes. Come with me, please."

Buck stood up, keeping his hand under Jee's bottom, but she didn't move in the sling at all. He grabbed the diaper bag next and followed behind the nurse to the area. The waiting room was cozy, and there was more than enough room for Buck to settle in.

The nurse looked in and smiled. "Please stay here and do not wander around."

Buck nodded. The door shut.

Jee was just waking up when there was screaming coming from the direction of the ER. Buck couldn't hear anything that was going on, but he knew the ER staff had everything in hand.

---

Eddie nearly lost his footing as he slipped out of the ambulance's cab. Ana and Chris were sitting on the cots. Ravi was talking to Chris and making huge exaggerated movements as he told some kind of story.

"Eddie, there you are," Ana said as she stood up.

"Dad, where's Buck?"

"Chris, why don't you go see what cookies are in my locker? Ravi, can you go with him?" Eddie asked.

"Sure, Eddie, let's go see what cookies we can find."

Eddie waited for Chris and Ravi to be in the locker room with the door shut before looking at Ana. "You didn't tell me you were coming."

"Chris thought you would be hungry. I made a few salads since there were things that needed to be used up. I brought them in, and Ravi said there were more than enough people to get them eaten. Is everything okay?"

"Not really. It's nothing I feel right talking about right now. I need to return to the ER in my vehicle and take some things to Buck. Then I'll be back here. Chris needs to get home and to bed."

"We were just waiting on you. Why are you so worried about Buck? He has his own family to take care of him."

Eddie recoiled from that.

"He is my family, Ana. He's my work partner and my best friend. He's breaking apart right now, and if that's all, you will say about that. I think that we are done."

"Edmundo, you don't mean that."

"Ana, I need to work, not worry about you. We are done. You can head back to the house and take care of things there. I'll take Chris to Buck, and Buck can watch him since he's going to be at the hospital for a while. I'll leave the truck with him and make sure to grab the car seat from his place."

"Edmundo, we should talk like adults."

"I'm standing here freaking out about what I just got back from, and you are telling me that I don't need to be worried about my best friend. Thank you for taking care of Chris. You stepped up when I needed you, and I feel a little bad that you did all of that for me, and I'm breaking up with you, but I have someone else who needs me more than I need to be here right now."

"Your son is here." Ana looked really upset, like she was going to cry.

Eddie hated it when women cried. "And my son would be the first to tell you that he would rather I worry about Buck right now. It's why I'm going to take him to see his Buck."

"He shouldn't be so attached to your friend. It's not right. It's why he's not gotten close with me."

"Ma'am, I think it's time you left," Makepeace said as he stepped up.

"Excuse me, but you need to leave," Ana said.

"No, you do. You are here in Eddie's place of work, and he asked you to leave. That's all that matters in this. Please leave."

Eddie relaxed as Makepeace came up and laid a hand on Eddie's shoulder. The man was the calm in a storm sometimes. Eddie never understood how Buck spent so much time with the man when he first joined the fire department, but then he got it.

"What is going on?" Eddie asked as he turned away from Ana.

"The captain said that you can head out when you need. I heard you make the comments about leaving the truck with Buck. How about you head to the hospital with Chris, and then I'll head to Buck's, get the car seat, and then pick you up. I'll get some stuff for the two of them to eat and drink while there. I am unsure what the hospital is doing regarding to-go food for those staying with patients."

"Sure, that sounds great. I'm going to talk to Bobby first, though. I'll have to get a hold of someone about Chris."

"Go." Makepeace turned Eddie around and sent him over to where Bobby was.

Eddie felt a little bad, but right now, he needed to focus on Buck, Jee, and Chris. He stopped when he realized that Chim wasn't around.

"Where is Chim?" Eddie asked Bobby.

"He freaked out a lot after you left. I have been a little worried about him since this all began. We had to sedate him as he was a danger to himself and others. Hen went with him, and B-shifts guys drove them. They will head back here as soon as Chim's checked in. With Maddie taken in as well, I called Albert to head down to see what was going on."

"He snapped?"

"He was out of his mind. Angry and just upset that Buck called Maddie. I'm worried about him. I'm worried about Maddie."

"She was still crying when we got there. She's a wreck. I heard her muttering about how Jee wasn't safe with her. I think she might have PPD. Chim could as well."

"We've seen that before. The father getting it as well. Okay, we will work with what we have. Every station is strapped, but we will do what we can. You can Makepeace do what you need. Take a long-distance radio so you can meet us at a scene if we are called in. If we need turnouts, we will grab your guys'."

Eddie nodded. He didn't want to do what he was going to do, but he would. Buck needed him, but Buck would be the first one to tell him that the job came first since no one was injured.

"Eddie?" Ravi asked when Eddie entered the locker room.

"Thanks for watching him. Hey, buddy, let's go see Buck and Jee-Yun; how does that sound?"

"What about Miss Ana?"

"I broke up with her, and I will talk to you about it, but right now, I gotta get to Buck and drop things off and then head back here to work since we are going to be down two people."

"Two? Did someone get hurt? Did my Bucky get hurt?"

"Not that kind of hurt. Something happened to his sister, and he's taking care of Jee right now. I think he might need you."

"I can go and take care of Bucky while he's taking care of Jee."

Eddie loved his son so much; moments like this made him love him even more.

Getting to the hospital took little time. Buck was in a room by himself, and there was a nurse watching the door like she was afraid someone would go in there. It meant Chim had to have been taken here as well, which was understandable given what was going on. While Maddie and Chim were not married, there was a connection through Jee, and having the same doctors treating both of them was a better idea than leaving them in different places and issues arising over that.

"Eddie?" Buck asked.

"Bucky!"

"Chris?" Buck looked really confused at that.

"Hey, buddy. What are you doing here?"

"Miss Ana and I took food to the station, and then Daddy and she got into a fight, and now there is no more Miss Ana, so you can come around again."

"It was never because of her, Chris," Eddie said. He swallowed at the feeling of his throat closing off at the emotion in Chris' voice when he spoke.

"But it was. She forced Bucky out when Bucky was supposed to take care of you. She told you that she was, and you did it."

"Chris." Eddie didn't have time for this. There was no way to get through all of this in the time he had before Makepeace got there with the stuff.

"I've got him, Eds. You gotta get back to work. Superman and I can take care of Jee. We got each other, and if you get off work before I go back, you can come and take care of us."

"Go to my place with her. I have the generator keeping the house at least a little cool. When we got our orders, I was able to get more gas to keep it going. The fridge is also on the generator, but I am unsure what is left. Ana made up things with the stuff that was close to turning."

"I think you have everything for those peanut butter balls and a few other things that won't take much. I can feed us."

"I never doubted that." Eddie stepped up to Buck and laid a hand on his shoulder before tipping Buck's face up to look Eddie in the eye. "I promise you. I never doubted how well you can take care of Chris and me. I might have lost my way a little, but I'm committed to building us back up."

Buck nodded, and he looked like he was at the end of his rope.

"We will talk later," Buck said.

"Okay." Eddie looked at Chris, who was just staring at Jee's face, where it was mushed against Buck's chest as she slept. "Just keep us informed of what you feel you can tell us."

"I will."

---

Morning dawned, and Eddie wasn't sure what was going to happen.

"Eddie, go with Hen on this run," Bobby said.

"I will. Let me know what else I can do."

"You and Hen are going to check on Buck as well. Take him some things I made up from the stuff I have stashed in the office. Don't spend long but kiss your kid and give Buck a few minutes where Hen can coo over Jee."

"No, we don't need to do that."

"Eddie, you and Hen are going out. She can take care of most of it, but she might need a second pair of hands. Makepeace will drive, and then you can take a little break."

"I had one last night."

"I would also like to know how Buck is doing, Eddie. Over text, he's good at hiding. I want your and Hen's opinion on him. I also know you broke up with Ana. Makepeace made sure that no one was going to ask you about that. Glass has been sending a few people on little things like this as time passed. If I had known that Chim was that freaked out, I would have given him that kind of time as well."

"I think they both have PPD."

"I wondered. Okay, get going. It's just a simple transport the other RA unit has things in hand; they just need another gurney. Go."

Eddie glared at Bobby, but he went anyway. He knew why Bobby wasn't the one leaving. Things were going to be strange for a while without Buck and Chim.

"So, Bobby is meddling," Hen said when they were in the back of the ambo, and it was on its way."

"What do you mean?"

"I think he wants you and Buck to talk and is afraid with too much time apart, you will both just shove it all down."

Eddie nodded in agreement to that. Bobby was acting a little different, but he also did think the other captains were letting people go out for short times to check on family or at least get a little air.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Hen asked.

"Look, I'll talk to Buck about the hospital stuff, and the doctor already apologized and offered to report herself. I honestly don't think she would have done it normally. The chaos and everything just got to her. I am fine, Hen. I think the issue I have going on is over anyway, or at least the impetus is gone."

"Ana?"

"How did you figure that out?"

"You looked a little freaked out when Buck was questioning you about her yesterday. You looked like you were going to pass out."

Eddie huffed as the ambo was coming to a stop. Eddie pushed all thoughts of Buck away until they were on their way to the hospital with their patient, and Eddie didn't need to do anything. Hen was a boss at this stuff, and it showed.

"How are you holding up?" Hen asked after the ER staff took the patient off their hands.

"Good. I think. I don't know."

"Well, let's go see your boy."

Eddie huffed at Chris being called his boy. He waited for Hen to let him go first so he could head to where Buck had been the night before. He found Buck asleep on the floor with Jee on a pillow with a border of other pillows around her so she couldn't roll anywhere. Chris was asleep on Buck with a blanket draped over them.

Hen took a picture before Eddie could stop her, and it woke up Buck.

"Eddie? Hen?"

"Hey, Buckaroo, we had a patent to drop off and decided to see you. Makepeace is bringing in some stuff after he parks the rig."

"It's morning?" Buck started to rub Chris' back. "He was asleep on the couch most of the night, but then he wanted to cuddle around four. What time is it now?"

"Six." Eddie walked over and rubbed at Chris' back as well.

"I can see Maddie at seven, and then we are leaving. They sedated her to get some sleep into her. She hadn't slept since the blackout started. There was a screaming violent patient in the ER last night. They told me to stay here and not leave. There is a bathroom here. There were a few issues, but I stayed in here."

"Buck," Hen said. She sat down on the floor beside him. "We brought Chim here last night. He kind of broke when you left with Eddie and Brian. We told the nurses what was going on as soon as we brought him in. We choose to put them both here because if the doctor needs to talk to both. They will get the help they need, but please do not go near Chim now. He's very angry at you for trying to step in to save Maddie. He thinks that it's his job."

"I won't. I'll be heading out as soon as I see Maddie and talk to her. Chris said that he would go with me so he could play with Jee while Maddie and I talk if Maddie doesn't want to hold her. That wasn't the sister I know, and I don't know, but I think there is something else beyond the PPD. I told the doctor that. I read a lot about PPD when Maddie told me she was pregnant. I wanted to know everything that could happen to her. I mean, it's not like our mom was going to help her understand what was going on with her body. So I wanted to help her."

"I remember how crazy you got about that. It was cute," Hen said. She smiled. "You will take care of her. You will be the one to be there for her. Now, what do you need?"

"Sleep? I'll get that when I get to Eddie's. I have everything I need. I'm gonna stop somewhere to get a few more things for Jee. I made a list of places that are open right now, given everything."

"Carla will stop by if you need her. Use her. She's got a few clients she's checking on, but she can take care of Jee and Chris for a short while if you need to do something. You have people to lean on. Don't isolate. I'll be getting a hold of you during the day."

"I will not isolate. My personal charging device is in my locker. Can you make sure Ravi gets it so he can check it in? I'll get another if I come back. We have enough for everyone on shift, but just to be safe in case one of them fries."

"Buck quit worrying about work. You have two things to worry about, and they are right here already. You don't worry about anything else."

"I have time to make sure Pepa and Abuela don't need anything," Buck said.

"Okay, fine, you can worry about them as well." Eddie walked around Hen and ruffled Buck's hair. "Try and get some more sleep. I'll have Makepeace drop the stuff in here from Bobby."

"Have him put it in the truck. That way, I don't have to worry about it. I've got stuff for breakfast if Chris gets hungry before I can get him home. You still have that powdered milk, right? It's going to be better than nothing on his cereal."

"Yes, it's in the pantry. You and your worrying."

"You worry just as much, just about different things."

"Never change, Buckaroo," Hen said.

Eddie smiled at Hen before looking at Buck again, savoring the sight of Chris curled up on his chest. This was all he needed, and he was an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

"Ready?" Hen asked.

"Sure, we need to catch Makepeace."

"I texted him already."

"Love you, mijo," Eddie said as he ruffled Chris' hair even though he wasn't awake. "And you, Evan."

"Eds," Buck said, sounding a little scared.

"Don't worry, we can talk when we are both not working."

---

Buck still wasn't sure what was going on. He picked up his phone and was glad to see it was mostly charged. The power had been on for a little while. Since it wasn't A-shift time, Eddie would be heading home soon.

"Buck, Jee's waking up," Chris called from the living room.

Carla had dropped off a pack-n-play she could buy so that Buck didn't have to leave to go and get one when he didn't want to keep her too long. She had allowed him to go and get things from the store. Buck had enough clothes at Eddie's place that would work, given the heat. Even Chris was running around in t-shirts, so the generator didn't have to be worked so hard. Jee was mostly in her diaper.

Buck knew how to deal with the heat, but it was hard to do that with Jee, who needed to wear a diaper, and those were sweaty. Buck had debated getting some of the cloth ones for her to make sure she didn't sweat too much, but he wasn't sure, and while Eddie had power in some spots, there was no Internet at the moment beyond what was on Buck's phone and it wasn't enough for that kind of a spiral before buying something.

"Okay, Chris. Your father will be home soon."

Buck laid his phone down. The message from Eddie stark on the screen.

Eddie: We need to talk about a lot of things.

Buck swiped back to his messages and then tapped the one for Taylor. He sighed at the break-up message there.

Taylor: I guess I thought that you would be all in and not still have a foot in the door of Diaz's place. I can't have you part of the time and take second place to them after your job. I'm sorry I can't be what you what me to be.

Buck had tried to get her to respond, but Taylor hadn't. So Buck still wasn't sure what he had done. He had messaged her that he wouldn't be home for a while even though he wasn't working. Then it had started, and honestly, Buck was upset.

"Can I try and feed her later?"

"Once your dad is home, yes."

"Okay." Chris headed back out of the kitchen.

The air was on now, but Buck was still shirtless. Chris was as well, but he wasn't covered in goosebumps last Buck had checked, so he wasn't going to make him put a shirt on yet.

Jee's soft cries made it to Buck, so he went into the living room to get her out of the pack-n-play. She curled into him as soon as he got her up and settled on his chest. She was loving skin to skin which Buck liked as well.

The front door opened, so Buck looked that way, and Eddie stopped in his track as he entered the living room area.

"Oh, shirtless, are we?"

"Dad, it was hot last night."

"It was. So that means no clothes?"

"No, just no shirts. Except for Jee. She was mostly clothesless. Don't worry, she wore something at night, so she didn't get too cold."

"Kid, you are hyper already. Did Buck give you pancakes?"

"No, we waited to eat and make breakfast until you got here."

"Oh, that's great. What are we having?"

"Pancakes," Buck said. Jee started to wiggle around a little bit, so Buck knew she wanted down. She had started to crawl the day before, and Buck had killed his phone filming it. He wasn't sure if it was her first time, but he had wanted to make sure Maddie didn't miss anything.

"Chris, do you think you can watch Jee?" Eddie asked. He looked at the gate and picked it up a few seconds later. He got it into place to stop Jee from going down the halls. He looked toward the door that led to the kitchen, and there was already a gate in place there. "We can see about getting the ones that attach to the walls if Jee is going to be coming around with you more."

"Oh, that's not...no. It's fine." Buck knew that once things were calm, Maddie and Chim would be taking her back. There was no need to change Eddie's place for the few days Buck might be here with her here at Eddie's. Now that the power was back on, Buck thought he might gather his things and head to the loft. He had stuff ready for Jee there so she couldn't climb the stairs and hurt herself. Given she was still unsteady when she was crawling, he doubted she would go for the stairs at all.

"Buck, are you telling me you don't want help with her?"

"Well, help is good, but I don't need it. I do know how babies work, Eddie. I'm not that much of an idiot. I've been around them before and even helped change diapers and stuff. I've never had to watch one more than a few hours, so the last few days have been something. how is Harry?"

"Harry is good. He'll get through this. He'll figure himself out. Athena will calm down. I'll come and help you in the kitchen."

Buck looked at Jee as she headed for the stand. She seemed to like to get near and then just wander around there.

"I'll watch her," Chris said.

"Good. You are a big help, buddy," Buck said.

"I know."

Eddie laughed and grabbed Buck's shirt from the back of the chair he had draped it on after taking it off. Eddie tossed it at Buck before heading toward the kitchen. Buck looked at Chris on the couch one last time before heading to the kitchen. The stuff for breakfast was prepped for the most part. There were still a few things to do that he needed to get out of the fridge.

"How are you really doing?" Eddie asked.

"I'm good. I'm worried about Maddie. About Chim. I don't know what to do to improve things, but I also know that I can't be the only one taking this all seriously."

"No, you can't. I think that things will go just fine for them. They might need some help, but once they are both level enough, someone can talk to them to figure out what they both want when it comes to Jee."

"She isolated herself. We know she's not working, and she said it was because she wanted to spend time with Jee during the first year of her life, but now I am unsure. Why did she shove me out? I just realized now that everything had been carefully done. Chim helped her, and I get it, but he helped to isolate her. Maddie said Jee wasn't safe with her. Jee was checked over as part of Maddie's intake to help her settle in."

"Evan, you can't do more than what she wants help with and what she will accept."

"I know. That's what Doctor Copeland said. We did a telephone call yesterday. I was spiraling a little, but it wasn't anything anyone but her could help with. If I had needed you, I would have called you."

Eddie gripped Buck's shoulder until Buck turned around and looked at him. "I know that."

Buck ducked his head and smiled before turning back to the stove. "Chris wanted chocolate chips, so we are doing those. He knows there will be no whipped cream. If you want to set the table. I was going to for simple, so it's just pancakes."

"It sounds great and can't be any worse than the stuff we have been eating from the rations at the station. Now tell me what's been going on."

"Jee started to crawl. I took a video of it, in case it was her first time. Maddie might have missed it, but she can at least see it."

"Have you talked to her?"

"No, they are running many tests, and she doesn't want to talk. She has her cell phone with her. I sent a care package over with some stuff, including a charger for her phone. She will be as connected as she wants and knows to call me when she is ready. How was everything?"

"Buck, I don't mind talking about work, but that will be later. I realized something after breaking up with Ana."

"You broke up with Ana?"

"Ana tried to dismiss you from my life. After I played it all back in my head, I realized she was jealous. It's why she pushed to be the one to take care of me. I just didn't see it. She was afraid you would replace her, and let me tell you that when I realized that Makepeace and Hen laughed their asses off."

Buck swallowed and kept his eyes on the stove as the pan heated up. He just wanted to focus on food. He had tried to move on with Taylor, and now she had broken up with him. Ana had broken up with Eddie over Buck.

"I'm sorry she broke up with you over me," Buck said.

"And that's all you get out of that. Sometimes I swear you play an idiot when you are trying to act like you don't understand. I thought at first a long time ago that you were that oblivious, but you have built that up, haven't you?"

"You are the only one who has caught onto it. I didn't mean for Ana to see that. I would never step in on any relationship. You deserve to be happy."

"We both do, and what if that happiness is together?" Eddied asked.

Buck didn't answer as he worked on stirring up the pancake mix. Eddie was still right here beside him, so Buck didn't think Eddie would make him speak right then. There was a feeling of hope inside of Buck, but he was also afraid. Eddie had just broken up with his girlfriend, and things had been shitty since the blackout started.

"I'm not going to just leave," Buck said.

"Expand on that as I am not sure what you mean."

"You don't have to try and reel me in with the promise of dating. I will still be your friend, no matter what."

"I had a feeling that it was what you meant. Before Ana, we were a family. I hadn't put much thought into it as it was slow and steady, the building to it. It was just what I was used to. I've been missing you so much lately. You've still been there at work, you go with Chris everywhere, but it was me you weren't hanging out with. We did a few things as a trio, but it's been not nearly as much as it used to be. So I want that. I want it to be you, me, and Chris. I know you are dating Taylor, so I'll wait, but I want us back."

"She broke up with me."

"When?"

"This morning, when she told me that I was too invested in you, she felt like I would never be that invested in her. I tried to be. I thought I was falling in love with her. I was happy enough. I would have made it work."

"You both deserve to be happy," Eddie said.

"I can't...I need to cook," Buck said.

"Okay, I'll back off for now, but I am not dropping it."

Buck nodded and started to pour the first pancake. Focusing on cooking was going to be his only solace right now. He wasn't sure what was going to go on, but he needed space to think. He wanted. He wanted it all. He wanted to have Eddie in his life in all ways he could get him. He wanted to wake up with him every morning and go to bed with him every single night.

The love Buck had for Eddie was fifty times greater than what he felt for Abby. It was bigger than what he had been starting to feel for Ali. He hadn't been with Taylor long enough to know he was falling in love with her. Eddie was the dream, but until right now, Buck never thought he could have him, so he forced himself to move on.

"Want to get Chris?" Buck asked when enough pancakes for Chris and Eddie were ready.

"Sure." Eddie gripped Buck's shoulder and didn't let go until Buck looked at him. Eddie smiled, and Buck smiled back.

For the first time in a long time, Buck felt like things might improve from here on out, but he and Eddie needed to talk, which meant once Chris was involved in something else. It was going to be after breakfast was over.

"Go," Buck said.

Eddie laughed and let go before heading out.

Buck focused on the food again and flipped the pancake over to cook the other side of it.

Eddie returned to the room, and the babbling told Buck he had Jee with him.

Buck turned to look at Eddie after he got the pancake out of the skillet and added the batter for another. Eddie was holding her with the kind of assurance that made him look fucking hot. Buck knew that Eddie was capable. He had learned how to do it with Chris and then with every other child he had seen since then. Still, it was a punch to the gut of how good it looked. Buck knew the term for what Eddie was, even if he had never let himself really think it.

There was so much more to who they were than fucking. It was more than that. Buck wanted everything and to have Eddie in every single second of his life.

"Is that the last ones?" Eddie asked a few minutes later as he came over for more pancakes for himself.

"Yeah, I have one more to put in the pan, and then I'll eat."

"Good." Eddie touched his shoulder again before he slipped out of the kitchen. Eddie still had Jee in his arms.

Buck wanted that to be one of theirs. He wanted a kid so bad that he could taste it. He blinked at the tears in his eyes. He wasn't sure where they were coming from, but he wanted to get them out of there and not have them fall into the food. He stepped back and dabbed at his eyes before moving the pancake out of the pan and onto the stack on the plate. He poured the last of the batter down into the pan and scraped the bowl as he did before setting it to the side to be cleaned out. He heard a noise and frowned as Eddie took the bowl to the sink.

"Go eat," Buck said.

"I will as soon as you are done and can join me. Chris is eating because he is acting like you haven't fed him in days."

"I have fed. I've fed him a lot."

"Oh, I know. He's got a belly right now since he can't do all of the normal stuff he does."

"I told him we would be able to go and do stuff when you got off work. I didn't want to go out with him and Jee in the heat. I didn't trust myself with that."

"We can head to the park later today after we talk," Eddie said.

Buck flipped the pancake and turned off the fire. He snagged the plate and pulled it a little closer before pulling the pancake off and dropping it on the stack. He carried that to the dining room to find Chris nearly done eating.

"Since the air conditioner is fully on, I want to go to my room and read. Can I?"

"When you are done, yes."

"I'm not going anywhere until I'm done eating. I don't want to miss a single bite of the pancakes," Chris said.

"Of course, you don't."

It was silent as Chris kept his mouth full of food he was chewing. Buck could feel Eddie's eyes darting to him and then back away again when he went for another bite, but Buck wasn't ready to discuss much of anything.

"Done," Chris said.

"Go wash up and then do what you want. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. Buck took really good care of me."

"Good. Good. Go."

Chris laughed as he left.

Buck looked away from his food and noticed the bottle on the table with just a little left inside. It looked like Eddie had fed Jee while Buck had been cooking.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Eh, she was hungry. She's not all that tired right now, it seems. She is content to just be like this in my lap. I figure she will want to be down soon."

"She's loving moving around in the place. Chris helped me get stuff up she shouldn't have, and I used the Swiffer on the floor a few times. You are a little low on those pads."

"I have more in my closet. There was a good sale on them, and I really like using them, so I bought a lot of them."

"See, I can teach you things," Buck said.

Eddie bumped his knee off Buck's and laughed. Then the knee came back, and it pressed there. Buck nearly pulled his leg away, but he stopped. He could have this. He wanted it. He could have it.

"Why now?"

"Because I was an idiot. I was looking for what was in front of me all the time. I accepted a long time ago that I was bisexual. I accepted it and moved on. I never tried to have a relationship with a man. I didn't care about it. I loved Shannon within months of meeting her. I wanted and had her, so there was no reason to look at anyone else. I had a woman who loved me, and I joined the military. Then Chris came along, and things changed. I wasn't around when she needed me, but we needed the money. I had never gone to college, and while I could have gone after my enlistment, he needed that insurance."

"She couldn't do anything?"

"No, Shannon had this idea of being a stay-at-home wife. She wanted to be the one to gossip with other wives and show off the nice house. I think she wanted that kind of life but didn't realize what she would have to give up to get it. I loved her, but it wasn't enough. We grew apart while I was in the military, and she couldn't be what I needed, and I couldn't be what she needed. We learned a lot about ourselves, and I wish I had never allowed her back into my life like I did."

"You are enough for me," Buck said. He could be bold. Eddie was telling him things he had never talked about before.

"I know that. Just like you are enough for me. We can be enough for each other. We had our rough patch, and we learned a lot from it. We can do this. You just have to trust me with your heart like that."

Buck clenched his fork. He relaxed after a few seconds and picked up another bit.

"What are you scared of?"

"Losing all of this," Buck said once he had swallowed.

Eddie picked up the pancake on his plate and rolled it up to eat it like a churro. There was no getting him to eat it a different way. His hands were going to get covered in chocolate, which had Buck thinking about licking that chocolate off him. It was too hot still in the house for that. The air was working, but it was already getting warm from the sun on the house.

"You won't lose me. Ever. I will fight to keep you in my life, to keep you in Chris' life. I know what life is like without you in my life, and I don't want that ever again. I fight hard to keep you even if we fizzle out. I won't let you run away."

Buck swallowed because he wanted to believe it. He knew Eddie meant it, but he also knew that Eddie meant it before that Buck was exhausting, he might not remember it, but he meant it. He meant everything he said when he was saying it. Eddie wasn't one to lie.

"What about when I am exhausting?" Buck asked. He could be brave for the time it took him to ask that. He could do it and just see what happened.

"Oh, mierda, Buck. No. I thought we had gotten past that, but it seems not. I guess I thought if it affected you that much, you would have said something when we were going through everything after the lawsuit. You are not exhausting. I was hanging on by a thread, and I had already put so much on you to make me feel better. I should have clued in then, but I didn't. There has never been a day in my life where I didn't want you there."

"Eddie," Buck said. He dropped his fork down and stood up. He needed to breathe. It was too much.

Buck headed to the backyard, hoping and dreading Eddie following him. A little place in the back had a perfect spot for him to stand in the shade of the tree from the yard next door. He loved that spot. He felt safe here. He felt safe everywhere in Eddie's place, but this was his favorite spot.

"Am I allowed?" Eddie asked.

Buck nodded, but he didn't look at where Eddie was. Eddie walked over and got just into the edge of Buck's line of sight. He stayed back, though, and didn't say anything.

"I know you mean it, but your voice and my parents just get mixed up in my head. They were supposed to love me, and they never did. They never wanted me. I am not sure how much better my life would have been if Daniel had lived. Would I have been loved? Or would I have been a huge burden still? Would I have been like Harry Potter, looking at Dudley and wanting even an ounce of the attention he got from his parents?"

"You are loved now," Eddie said.

"I know. Chim said that I was back then too and that Maddie's love was all that mattered but part of me wonders if she loves me for me or just because our parents didn't love me. Did she love me just because Daniel did?"

"You can't think about that. She loves you because she is your sister." Eddie stepped closer, and he held out his hands.

Buck debated what he was going to do. He wanted it to just slide into Eddie's arms.

"I want it all. I want everything with you, but I'm so scared, Eddie. I've not been able to be happy. Abby left me, and Ali left me. Maddie's been keeping me away from her for months. I'm not in a good head space, and I think if I start this how I want to start it, I'll burrow in and not get what I need out of my head."

"Okay, then. Business as usual. Talk to Doctor Copeland and set yourself settled in. I'll be here, no matter how long it takes."

"I'm scared for her, Eddie."

Eddie stepped forward then, wrapping Buck in his arms. Buck finally let himself go of the emotions he had kept inside of himself. He turned his head and clutched at Eddie. Jee was sitting in the pack-n-play that was sitting on the back porch out of the sunlight. She looked like she was having the time of her life.

---

Eddie dropped the sponge down into the bucket, and he grabbed the rag to get it into a few spots the sponge hated to clean and looked over at where Maddie was sitting with Buck. It was one of Maddie's free afternoons in the inpatient clinic she was staying at. Once a week on those days, she came to spend a little time with Buck in public. If the team was called out, Buck stayed behind. Right now, he was eating his lunch since he had been on a run with Hen when she needed someone built like Buck to help with the call, as the 9-1-1 dispatcher told them.

"You might want to watch the drool," Hen said. She leaned against the side of the engine with her plate of food in hand.

"I'm not drooling. Not this time. I'm worried about Maddie. She loves Chim, but...I heard what she said to Buck."

"Chim's not happy about it, but he understands it. He understands why she doesn't trust him to have her best interests at heart when she needs someone who isn't going to settle in and do what she wants. He is asking about transferring houses. He's still kind of dealing with everything, but his new place is roughly the same distance but in the other direction. He will be asking for a transfer to another house."

"Why?" Eddie asked.

Hen turned around and looked at Maddie and Buck there. "Those two. He can't be around Maddie that much, but he didn't want to have to make Maddie not come here if she wanted. A station is getting a new paramedic on their A-shift after the other went to New York when his wife got a new job. Chim has asked for that. Then in three months, the other on that rig is retiring; if I want that one, I could probably get it. I haven't decided what I want to do yet."

"Buck would transfer out, and you know it."

"I know, but Chim's feeling a lot of guilt for how his PPD showed up. How much he gave into Maddie and how much it hurt her. He's been doing well in therapy and is getting a grip on some things that he should have gotten a grip on a long time ago."

"I'm glad he's doing good."

"I also think he doesn't want to be around Buck but also doesn't want to take Buck from the family he has made here. Kinard already promised he was going to look after Chim at the 217."

"Kinard?" Eddie asked. He had heard the name a few times but never who he was.

"He was here before you joined. Buck actually is the one that replaced him here. He is a good guy. He'll take care of Chim. He went there to get training to be a captain from a guy who was retiring and liked him. One of the younger captains, but he's a good one. I think Chim will do well under him there."

"Good. I hate that he's leaving, but I understand his reasons why. Did you only come over here to mock me about my staring at Buck?" Eddie asked.

"No. I wanted to tell you that you had something taped to your locker. It looks romantic. Got a secret admirer?"

Eddie huffed and dropped the rag into the bucket. He stood up from his crouch. "I guess I'll go and see what that is. This is done. I'll take care of the bucket when I get back. I need to change my shirt anyway.

Hen didn't follow him to the locker room, but Eddie was sure her eyes were on him. He found the envelope taped there. He knew that print, and he knew that Hen knew whose it was as well. He opened it up, and he found just three simple words.

I am ready

Eddie smiled as he slipped the sheet of paper back into the envelope and then put that into his bag inside of the locker. He looked where Buck was still with Maddie. Maddie was laughing, her body shaking just slightly as it looked like Buck was recounting the save they had done just a few days before.

Looking around, Eddie tried to find where everyone was. Makepeace was sitting in the back of the ambulance with a book in his hand. Hen was probably in the back of it, stocking or doing the count on things. The A-shift was going to change, but Eddie knew that change was a part of life here. The biggest change they had was when he joined the team. Everything else had been temporary.

Eddie left the locker room, stepped up behind Buck, and laid a hand on his shoulder. Buck stopped talking and looked up at him. Eddie smiled, and Buck smiled back.

"Pull up a seat. Buck's telling me about the last recuse on ropes you two had done. I would love to know how much of it he's underplaying."

"Probably not much." Eddie grabbed another chair from alongside the wall and walked back. He opened the chair and set it beside Buck, close enough that their thighs could press against each other.

Maddie's eyes darted down to see how Eddie pressed their legs together. She smiled at Eddie.

"Where is Jee?" Eddie asked.

"With the Lees. They have offered to be her babysitter when Buck is working while Howie and I finish our treatment plans and even when I go back to work when I start to do that but still come back to the center at night. I should be able to move onto that over the next month." Maddie reached out and laid her hand on Eddie's knee. "Thank you for letting Buck stay with you. I know he made the loft safe, but I know he also likes having a place where he can have someone backing him up."

"I did fine that week when I was in the loft," Buck said.

"Yes, but you also slept for shit as you worried." Maddie was smiling as she said it. She touched the back of her hand where a new tattoo was.

Eddie remembered when he had seen the picture on Buck's phone. Buck had been proud.

"You are enough," Buck said.

"I know. I just have to remind myself of it every single day. Waking up without Jee hurts, but I know I'm getting better for her and for myself. I want to be a better mother than we had. I don't ever want to think that I could give birth and hate that child."

"You couldn't. You will get through this."

"The doctors think the postpartum thyroiditis is nearly under control. I'm still working on everything in therapy that I do need to work on but having that part of it under control is so much better for me. That's enough about me. Tell me about this!" Maddie waved at where their legs were pressed together.

"Oh, that's just them being normal," Makepeace.

"Shut your mouth, Brian," Buck said, but he was laughing. He pressed his leg into Eddie's just a little more.

"This cannot be normal."

"Oh, no. It is. I forget you haven't seen them here at work that much. They are like this all of the time."

"You told me you were not with Eddie," Maddie said.

"I am not."

"It's been this way since the beginning," Hen said as she got on the floor and leaned into Eddie's other leg. "Well, not that first day. If this was something else, I could Eddie putting Buck on his knees and Buck loving it."

"Hen." Buck started to blush and shoved at Hen's shoulder. "I have never done that in my life."

"You aren't saying you don't like it, though."

"I walked in on Buck in bed with the neighbor boy once. I hadn't realized he was even home as our parents said he wasn't. I wasn't shocked they didn't know he was there. Buck hadn't come out to me, but he had always paid a little more attention to the sports players on the field than the cheerleaders in skimpy things."

"Maddie," Buck said. The blush on his cheeks was even more than it had been.

"What? You were adorable as you tried to tell me you were both just trying wrestling moves, which was why he was holding you down in your bed. In just your underwear with erections fully visible."

"Okay, bye-bye, it's time for you to leave. Come visit again soon."

Buck started to squirm a little, so Eddie reached out and snagged him to where Buck would lean into him. Buck tucked his head into Eddie's shoulder, and his nose brushed Eddie's neck.

"Evan Buckley, spill right now."

"We haven't been on a date. We haven't even kissed. So shut up."

"But you want to?" Maddie asked.

"How about we discuss that between he and I, and not the gossips of the 118?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, that's adorable," Makepeace said.

Eddie looked around for Bobby and found him with his back to them, so he flipped the man off.

Makepeace leaned back and laughed.

The sound of the bells going off had Buck jumping up and running away. It was just about time for Maddie to leave to go and spend time with Jee.

"Bye, love you!" Buck called out before grabbing his turnouts and getting into them.

Eddie was pretty sure this was love, and he was screwed.

---

Buck grabbed the bottle of beer that Eddie was holding out to him.

"Thanks," Buck said. He took a sip and then looked at the bottle. "Aww, you got the expensive stuff I like."

"It's the only thing you like to eat with the food we got. I know you."

Buck laughed. He stopped and looked toward the dining room, where Jee was down for a nap in the pack-n-play. She was still asleep there.

"She won't wake up with noises like that. She'll be fine, Buck."

"I know. I just...she cried when she left Maddie today. I hated that. I hate that I'm making both of them upset. Maddie wants me to be the one to keep her until either her or Chim are out of their inpatient. I think Chim will be out first, but still, it hurts."

"Hen told me Chim is doing well in his, and she thinks he'll be out next week. I hope so. I think he's going a little nuts."

"He still hasn't talked to me. I leave Jee with Albert or the Lees, and he comes to visit them to see Jee. I hate this."

"Hey," Eddie said. He stepped up and wrapped his arms around Buck, holding him tight.

Buck dropped his head down to bury it in Eddie's neck. He liked being held like this.

"Why don't we go and watch something? I'll put Jee in my room with the monitor on, and we can have the afternoon to ourselves in the living room watching something. We can also just talk."

"Hmm, dates are for talking."

"Who said this is a date?"

"You got the fancy Thai food and the fancy beer, Eddie. That means it's a date."

"Well, I buy you fancy beer all the time. Have we had more than one date?"

Buck pulled his head up and looked at Eddie, seeing the smile on his face and the look of happiness in his eyes.

"Well, I could be persuaded to think we have been on a few dates before this."

Eddie leaned in, making sure Buck knew what was coming. Buck allowed Eddie to have the first kiss before pushing back in and taking the second. Buck blindly set his beer on the counter and clutched at Eddie's face, angling them toward the hallway. He loved the second door out of the kitchen ad directly across from Eddie's bedroom.

"Are you sure?" Eddie asked when he broke the kiss as he connected with the bedroom door.

Buck nodded and kissed Eddie again.

The rest of the kisses were frantic and hurried as they stripped their clothes off. Buck knew they were better off getting their clothes off themselves instead of trying to get them off each other.

"I know what you are thinking about," Eddie said.

"What?"

"Not fucking up and having to call 9-1-1 if one of us trips and cracks our head open trying to strip each other."

Buck laughed, and Eddie used that to take him down. Buck bounced on the bed a little before Eddie was on top of him. They were only in their boxers, but Eddie was again with his lips on Buck's. Buck tried to reach out and snag Eddie, but Eddie got to his knees and caught his hands before pressing them into the bed on either side of Buck's head.

The groan that Buck let out was deep, and he wasn't even sure he had ever made that noise before.

"Look at that," Eddie said.

"Maddie wasn't wrong. I like sex and this." Buck pushed up against Eddie's hand, and they didn't move. "It's rare I let anyone take the upper hand with me, though. I was young and stupid back then."

"Were you hurt?" Eddie asked.

"No. We were just young and stupid, and then I heard horrible stories at parties about things other kids had done. There is a big enough kink crowd here, but I've not touched it."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes, but not today. Just come down here and kiss me."

Eddie did as Buck asked, brushing their lips together. It was one of the best kisses of Buck's life. He wanted Eddie so much; he loved him so much. Even just a simple brush of a hand over his side made Buck feel more from Eddie than he had ever felt from anyone else before.

"Hey, you went away on me," Eddie said a few minutes later.

Buck looked down when he felt skin on skin and found that Eddie had gotten them out of their underwear. They were naked together for the first time, and he had missed it.

"Sorry, I was thinking how good your hands feel on me. I love it."

"Hmm, you do feel good under, but I also like your hands on me. Touch more." Eddie nosed along Buck's neck and then pressed a kiss to his pulse point.

Buck arched up into Eddie's body with it, and the feel of their cocks sliding along each other lit a fire.

There was nothing but the quest for completion. Rutting and groaning, kissing and sucking, holding and thrusting. Buck wasn't sure who came first, but he loved the feel of Eddie slumped on him as they came down.

Buck trailed his hand up and down Eddie's back as Eddie breathed while slumped on top of him. He was smiling as Eddie just breathed. It was calming in a weird way. Sex had always been a comfort for him. Right up until he had sex with his therapist and then realized how big a line it had crossed. He hadn't realized it. He hadn't known. Once he had, he had stepped up and made sure she was reported. Buck hadn't been the only one she slept with, but it had been the only one that hadn't been traumatic in some way. He hadn't been hurt other than just horrified.

"I'm hungry," Eddie said.

"You are an asshole. Is the monitor still in here?"

"Yeah. The door was open, so we would have heard her."

Buck didn't move his hand from Eddie's back. "We need to clean up, and then we can eat. The food should be warm enough."

"The beer will be warm as well."

"Eh, it's still good warm, unlike that piss you drink on the regular."

"I don't have any of that piss as you call it in my house. Chris mocked me for drinking it two weeks ago. It was the last bottle."

Buck laughed, and he couldn't help feeling smug. Eddie only liked that beer a little bit. He bought it because it was cheap and easy to find.

"Shower?" Eddie asked.

"You can hop in, yes." Buck dropped his hand from Eddie's back.

"No, I mean together. You and me in the shower."

"We are going to be starved by the time we get out, and we won't have much time to eat before we have to go get Chris."

"Worth it."

Buck laughed, and he waited for Eddie to get up. Eddie held out his hand. Buck let Eddie pull him up off the bed and into his arms. Buck backed Eddie up into the closed bathroom door. Jee was quick, and she sometimes made it all the way to the bedroom, so the bathroom doors were always kept closed.

"You are worth everything, Evan."

"Eddie," Buck said.

"No, you have been dodging me for weeks, and I finally have you. You are right here in my arms, and I'm not going to let you go. I love you."

"I love you, too," Buck said. He swallowed around the tight feeling in throat. He wanted to ask for so much more. He wanted to be never let go of, and he hoped that Eddie would be the one to do that for him.

After the shower, Buck found Jee in the pack-n-play, standing up and giggling as she babbled at something. Buck looked at what she was looking at, and he saw a lump shivering under one of Eddie's stands.

"Eds," Buck called out loud enough to where he hoped Eddie came in quickly but didn't run. Eddie came from the kitchen, pulling on a shirt, stopping when he saw Buck was looking.

"Is that alive?"

"Yes? It's shivering, so I want to say it's alive. Get a towel."

Buck got onto his knees and tried to see if he could see what it was. It was long-haired, so he wasn't sure if it was a small puppy or a kitten. Eddie tossed the towel to Buck as soon as he was close enough, and the movement had the animal starting to move. Buck was quick, using the towel to snag the animal. The hissing and spitting told Buck it was a kitten before he had a proper hold on it. He carefully wrapped it in the towel and brought it to his chest.

"You are good at that."

"Well, I was the one that got stuck with animals in places they shouldn't be as a probie."

"Ah. So what do we have?"

"A kitten, just about the age it could be weaned." Buck looked down at the lump in his arms. The kitten was calming down, and it was now starting to purr. "Jee saw it."

The doorbell had Buck looking toward it. The kitten started to flail around again, but it huddled closer to him this time.

"I'll get the door. You take the kitten to the kitchen and lock yourselves in there in case it escapes. I'll call out before I come in.

"Hmm," Buck hummed in agreement. He walked to the kitchen and shut that door before grabbing the other and shutting it. He checked the cabinets before he laid the kitten on the island. It let the towel fall off and shook itself before meowing at him.

"Look at you." Buck held out a hand, and the kitten came closer to him. "You are pretty."

The kitten got snagged in the towel but got loose with a little help from Buck. It meowed at him again.

"You are pretty."

The kitten was fully black with bright blue eyes.

"Buck," Chim said.

"Oh, hey, Chim. Are you here for Jee? We weren't scheduled to drop her off, were we?"

"No, you weren't. I came to say I am sorry. I've apologized to everyone else for everything. I hid something I knew I shouldn't hide, and I should have done what was best for her instead of what she wanted. I've seen what could have happened. I know I had my own issues, and I'm sorry those issues hurt you."

Buck looked at Eddie to see that he looked a little sad.

"Hey, it's okay. Um, do you know anything about kittens?"

"Buck, no. Don't deflect. I mean it. I know that I was angry with you and some of that had to get back to you. I was angry at myself, but you were the one to step in and fix everything, and I was so angry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Tommy's taking me in, which I figure you already knew that."

"Yeah, Tommy and I are still tight. He's happy to have you at the 217. I'm happy you are happy. It's all I ever wanted. I wanted you and Maddie and Jee-Yun happy together."

"Well, that's not going to happen, but Maddie and I will get to be friends. We will be friends so that Jee doesn't see us having a bad relationship. I know what I did wrong, and while there might not be another in my future. I've got a wonderful little girl who needs all of the love in the world. I just came by to say I was sorry. I've said it, and I don't want you to accept right now. Think about it. Make sure that what you say is what you mean. I know you were having an issue telling people your true feelings last year, and I didn't get that until now. I understand it all, and I hope you forgive, but if you don't, I understand."

"Chim," Buck said.

"No, no. You take care of the kitten. I'm gonna spend a few minutes with Jee and then head back to the Lees. It's been good staying with them. Albert's been at my place."

"Albert can stay at mine if he needs. I've been here pretty much all the time. He'll have to bring food as there is nothing perishable there. He should still have the key."

"He does. I'll let him know. I think the Lees are happy to have both of us there right now. I know you have to leave to get Chris; I'll leave when you do if that's okay?"

"You can stay here with Jee. I know you have graduated to having days out," Eddie said.

"No, I don't...I don't want to intrude."

"You won't be. We won't have to pack her up just to bring her back here and get her out again. I mean it. Stay and spend time with her. We will be here eating. We got a little distracted."

"I saw the hickey on Buck's neck. Hen said you two were working toward something. I'm happy for you both."

The kitten was done with being ignored and jumped onto Buck's shirt and slowly climbed up to where it could get on his shoulder.

"You have that to deal with."

Buck laughed, and he waited for Chim to slip out of the kitchen before he worked the kitten loose of his shirt and looked it in the eye.

"So, do we have a boy or a girl?"

"I think it's a boy. He's mostly clean but just ratty from, I would assume, running through bushes and stuff. Do you wanna get a rag wet, and I'll clean his face?" Buck pulled the kitten closer to him and petted it while Eddie got the rag wet. The sound of running water didn't freak the kitten out, which Buck was thankful for. It was looking at him, and there was something there.

"You know that once Chris sees the kitten, we aren't going to get him to let go of it."

"Well, we need to ensure that it doesn't belong to anyone and it just escaped. We can ensure he's cleaned up and take him to a vet to ensure he's fine."

"You and your heart," Eddie said as he stepped up behind Buck and wrapped his arms around him. The kitten was having fun with the towel. Eddie dropped the rag on the counter.

Buck picked up the rag and found the kitten loved being touched and loved on, so the rag was a good idea. The kitten was hard to wrangle, but Buck was able to do it with a lot of care. The kitten just wanted to play.

"You are already in love, aren't you?" Eddie asked.

"I am, but I know he might have someone else out there. I will be fine if we have to give him up. I know that we might not be able to keep him. I won't go crazy and want to adopt a house full of cats."

"No, but you want one, don't you?"

"I never had a pet growing up unless you counted the squirrel I fed nuts to that lived in the tree outside my bedroom. I don't really. It was the closest, though."

"So are you saying that if the kitten does have a home, you want to find a new one?"

Buck nodded his head. He looked at the time. "I'm going to get the hamper from Chris' room and start working on laundry a little while eating."

Eddie sighed, pulling Buck in close when Buck moved around him. "Hey, eat first. Let's get that done, and then we can do that stuff together."

Buck nodded his head. He grabbed the food and headed to the living room.

Chim was sitting with Jee in his lap as she bounced in place. He looked up a little shocked but then looked back at his daughter.

Buck ate a lot faster than he normally would have, but he felt an itch under his skin. Normally, when he was like this, he cleaned, but there wasn't time to get too deep into something before they had to go and get Chris and Chris liked it when both of them picked him up. Buck didn't mind giving into that when he could.

"Happy?" Buck asked when he was done. He picked up the beer to wash down the rest of the food.

"I sometimes swear that Chris gets that from you. Go."

Buck saluted Eddie with the beer bottle. He stopped beside where Chim was. "Want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever thing you have that is not beer. I can't drink with the medications I am on."

"I have bottles of apple cider. I think you'll love it." Buck went to the kitchen to put up his things. He grabbed a bottle of cider and popped the cap on it. He headed to where Chim was and handed over the bottle before walking to Chris' room.

Outside of cleaning like this, they didn't go into Chris' room. It was his space. Still, Buck felt a little wrong for it even when he was just grabbing the laundry. He quickly grabbed the hamper, and when it moved, something else moved. He frowned and looked to see a pan of some kind under the edge of the desk.

"Litter pan?" Buck asked. He moved the hamper out of his way before crouching down and pulling the pan out all the way. He frowned as it was used. "EDDIE!"

Eddie came down the hall, his steps heavier than normal. "What's wrong?"

"I think the cat is Chris'." Buck stepped back for the litter pan to be visible. "I wonder if the kitten got out and then back inside, and we didn't notice today. We have been in and out of the house from the backdoor. It was open for a while as well."

"Okay, you stay here and clean up in here, get the stuff for the kitten set up in the mud room as far as the litter pan goes. I'll hit the store before I pick him up and get a few other things. That litter pan is small, and there is not enough litter. Text me what we need to take care of the kitten, and I'll get it. I'll make sure that Chim is okay watching Jee."

"Yeah, I'll make sure things are fine in here. He's getting his room deep cleaned a little early."

"Yup." Eddie stepped over and pressed a kiss to Buck's cheek before he left the room.

Buck looked around. Chris kept his room clean and did most of the light cleaning himself. The vacuum, even the lightest one they had found that was worth buying, was still something he could not move around on his own. There were other household things he could do that he helped with in place of that, as Chris did like to be helpful.

"Everything okay?" Chim asked.

"Oh, yeah. The kitten, it seems, is Chris' hidden pet."

"Oh, man. He was hiding a kitten from you guys?" Chim laughed a little.

"Yup. It seems that way. Just wait until Jee does something like it. She'll have to be a little more creative. Sneaking the animal back and for from your place to Maddie's and then again."

"Don't say that where she can hear. She's got enough of her mother and me to do it. Don't even get me started on the Buckley genes."

"Hey," Buck said. He laughed and picked up a shirt that seemed to have missed the hamper near the bed. He found it covered in black cat hair. It was one of Buck's shirts. Buck wondered how Chris had gotten this and how he had hidden this kitten from them for however long he had been doing it. He sat down on the bed and opened the texting app on his phone.

Buck: When was the last time you did any cleaning in Chris' room?

Carla: Two weeks ago, when he knocked over the juice, he got excited at getting past the shrine in that Zelda game; why?

Buck looked down at the kitten who had made it all the way into the room and was looking at Buck like he was in trouble for taking his shirt. Buck dropped the shirt down onto the ground, and the kitten dragged it over to where it had been and curled up on it. Buck aimed his camera at the kitten and took a picture.

Carla: Oh my. How long has he had the kitten?

Buck: Unsure. I found the litter pan today when cleaning after the kitten had escaped outside and then back inside.

Carla: I see. Do you need anything?

Buck: No. Eddie's picking up some stuff and then getting Chris. I would love to know where he got the litter and the pan.

Carla: You have got to tell me everything. I'll wait for your words on it.

Buck: I'll let you know.

A list of things was easy to make up, and since Buck was already in his texting app, he texted Eddie what they needed. Buck dropped his phone onto the bed and looked at Chim. Chim shook his head with a smile on his lips before he went to the living room.

When the front door opened up, Buck left Chris' room. Despite everything, the kitten's presence in Chris' room was down to hair everywhere and the litter pan. There was a bowl that looked like it might have been used for food, and there was a thing of water hiding in a place where Chris wouldn't knock it over.

Chris had done pretty well at taking care of the kitten, and despite its size, it was obviously old enough to eat dry food and learn how to use a litter pan. He just wasn't sure why Chris had done this. Eddie rarely didn't give into Chris on things like this. If Chris really wanted a pet, Eddie would cave if Chris pushed.

Buck didn't even need to flash his puppy dog eyes at Eddie to get the man to give in stuff both he and Chris wanted. Hell, Buck had been doing it for years at this point, just like Buck and his friends used to do to his friends' parents. It was Buck's right to do it to help Chris as Chris' best friend.

"Buck?" Chris asked as he stopped in the doorway.

"Your kitten escaped today. I cleaned him up as he got outside and then got back inside."

"Are you mad?" Chris asked.

"I am not, but I am not sure about your father."

"Where is Beedle?"

"Beedle? Of all the names in Zelda, you picked Beedle?"

"He's annoying like Beedle. Well, he was the first night. I was afraid he was going to wake you both up."

"So why did you hide it?"

"He was a runt, and he's all black. Timmy's mother was going to toss him outside to see if he could just survive on his own as no one wanted him. I talked Timmy into bringing him to me. Timmy's sister and he got me everything I needed." Chris leaned his crutches against the desk and walked over to the nightstand. "I was making a list of reasons I can keep him, and when I had them all laid out, I was going to talk to you and Dad."

"But this happened."

"Yeah. Dad said he wanted to talk to me, put my stuff up, and come back out. I guess it's about the kitten?"

"Yes. You go out, and I'll join you both in a few seconds."

Buck waited for Chris to head out before looking down at the sleeping kitten. "Beedle." He shook his head and got up from the bed.

He found Chris sitting on the couch with Eddie sitting on the floor with Jee. Jee was babbling as she bounced there.

"Am I in trouble?" Chris asked.

"Only a little. I'm not upset about the kitten but about lying, well, the hiding of the kitten."

"How much in trouble am I?" Chris asked.

"You are going to have some extra chores and miss the gaming night at Harry's this weekend. But that's all. Of course, the biggest chore you are going to have is taking care of the kitten. It's yours, and that means if it's something you can do, you will be doing it. That's the price you pay. Now, health-wise. What is going on?"

"Oh, Buck, can you get my notebook. I wrote it all down when Timmy told me."

Buck nodded and walked back to get it. The notebook was on the stand, but Buck didn't open it. He didn't want to get into it. It was Chris' private thoughts.

"Here," Buck said as he held out the notebook. Once Chris had grabbed it, Buck walked over to the chair Eddie was sitting in and debated what he wanted to do. A few seconds later, Eddie pulled him to sit down on the arm of the chair.

"He's half the size of the other kittens born at the same time as him. He's had his first shots and everything. The whole litter had that. He's not fixed as he's not old enough for that. He was tested for all of the bad stuff kittens are tested for, and he's fine. He's in good health per his last visit. I have the name of the vet he was taken to."

"What have you been feeding him?" Buck asked.

"I gave Timmy my allowance, and he bought a bag of food from the store down the street from his place and brought it into school for me."

"That's why that one day your backpack was so heavy."

"Yes. I had the litter pan, the food, and litter all before we smuggled Beedle here one day where Carla was picking me up."

"So this was planned?" Eddie asked.

"Yes." Chris ducked his head down.

"Well, I can be upset about the lying and hiding you did to keep the kitten hidden, but you have taken good care of it so far. How long have you had it in the house?"

"Five days. I was going to talk to you tomorrow since it's Saturday. I brought the kitten home on Monday."

"That's why your door has been shut more," Buck said. He finally had a question that wouldn't step on Eddie's toes when it came to Chris and raising him. Buck might be all but living with them, and Eddie might see him as a parental figure; he didn't want to upset Eddie when it came to that.

"Yes."

"Okay, so, go and make sure that your room is cleaned up. I know Buck did some cleaning of it to make sure the cat hadn't done anything in there. Just double-check and then work on any homework you have."

"Just something from science. I can do it quickly. I'm sorry."

"I know you are, mijo, and I'm disappointed, not mad. You are a kid; you are learning. We all make mistakes; not repeating them makes all the difference. Still, no dessert tonight but other than that, chores and no gaming with Harry is your punishment."

"I'm not going to fight it. I might whine a little."

"Of course, it is a child's right to whine about being punished."

Chris nodded his head, but Buck could see he was upset. Buck knew that feeling well. He hated that feeling even as an adult. Chris stood up from the couch and carefully walked over to where Eddie was; Eddie reached out and hugged him tightly.

"Lo siento, Daddy," Chris said.

"I know, mijo." Eddie pulled out of the hug and cupped the sides of Chris' face. "I know. Don't be too upset. You are a kid. You are going to mess up. I love you. There is almost nothing you could do that would make me hate you, and those things that could? I can't ever see you doing."

"Like what?"

"Hurting someone and liking it. Hurting someone because you can."

"We don't like bullies in this house, and we won't be mean even to people we don't like. It's not a good look to treat someone we don't like as second-class people just because we don't like them, even if they are horrible people."

"That's fight." Eddie kissed Chris' head and let him go.

Chris turned and glomped into Buck. "Sorry, Bucky."

"It's all good, Chris. I love you."

"Love you, too." Buck pressed a kiss to Chris' hair and let go.

Chris was careful as he moved out of the room. As soon as he hit his room, he started to talk to the kitten.

"Beedle? What is that from?"

"He's that guy with the huge bag that loves bugs in Breathe of the Wild."

"Oh. That guy. Why did he name him that?"

"The kitten was annoying the first night. Nearly a week. He had that kitten in the house for nearly a week. He's too good at that."

"Yes, he needs to never get into a life of crime. That would make Athena retire. She would hate it." Eddie wrapped a hand around Buck's hip and pulled him down into the chair with him.

"What brought this on?" Buck asked.

"It was good, having you sitting beside me, backing me up. You know you can speak up more on things, right? I'm not a fragile flower that will take any words as a criticism of my parenting."

"I know. I know that. It's not what I was doing. I just didn't want to overstep. He's my best friend, but he's also your kid. I'm still just the boyfriend in this."

"Evan, you are more than that. You are another parental figure to him. I have felt that since the well. I wanted you to be the one to take care of him. You are his father because I say so but also because he wants it, and you love him so much."

"You are going to make me cry."

As if on cue, Jee started to make the sound that meant she was waking up from her nap and she wasn't happy. Buck groaned and tried to get up, but Eddie kept holding him.

"What? I don't want her to start crying."

"Just a kiss. Just a simple kiss, and I'll let you go."

"You big softie," Buck said. He brushed his lips over Eddie's and then laughed when Eddie pulled him back in for a deeper kiss.

"I'm soft for you and Chris. And maybe Beetle. I'll have to see about that."

"You say that like you don't know that cat is going to have you wrapped around his finger in just a few days. I know you, and I love you for it."

Buck brushed his nose over Eddie's and then pressed a kiss to his cheek before pressing his cheek to Eddie's. He stayed like this.

Home wasn't a place; it was people for Buck, and Eddie had proven he and Chris would be his family forever. Everything had rippled out from Buck not taking one of Chim's jokes, and things had gone nuts after that. Soon Chim and Maddie would be taking Jee back, and everything would be starting to get back to something close to whatever their new normal.

Buck was looking forward to the future for the first time in a long time.

The End