Title: No Rival
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Carson/Hughes
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: There is no one else for him.
Word Count: 2,235
Written For: Fan FlashWorks 462. Rival and 100 Ships 74. Sage
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.








He had warred within himself for days, but he always did whenever he had a hard decision to make, especially if it meant having to render himself -- even the thought bothered him deeply, to the point he almost winced visibly -- vulnerable. He had known this time would come though, had he not? He should be ashamed of himself, honestly, allowing himself to be as shy as a silly schoolboy to the point he had admitted for Missus Pattmore to carry words between himself and his bethrothed rather than manning up, as it were, and announcing his intentions himself.

Of course, it might be fair to say that one would think he had made his intentions crystal clear when he had signed his lovely fiance's name onto the deed of the house they were to share. Clearly, however, although he had opened himself up to her on that one night -- the best night of his long life thus far, if he was being honest and truly he must start being so if he intended to build a life for them to share -- he had still failed in making his intentions evident. Why else would she still feel the need to send her friend bashfully asking him what he intended their life together to involve? Surely the woman must know he had the same needs as every man!

But he had heard the whispers throughout Downton on many an occasion. He was revered, but he was not much liked, especially not by the younger staff. Their opinions mattered not, of course, but when he was rumored to be as stoic and emotionless as they all took him to be, could he allow himself to wonder why Elsie still did not understand his true desires?

Ah, Elsie! A warmth spread through him and his steps felt lighter the moment he thought of her name. He did not dare voice it aloud, especially not until he had formally placed a ring upon her finger and they had their little abode -- But there was something about her name that seemed to lift the entire weight of the day from his broad shoulders and fill his old, craggy face with warmth. Elsie! He knew he truly was being schoolboyish now, but her name felt like a radiant ray of sunshine piercing through dark clouds.

And his life had been very dark, if he was being truthful with himself. Carson squared his shoulders, set his jaw, and firmly reminded himself once more that he was going to have to start being more truthful, even if the words were not spoken aloud for anyone else to hear. He was going to have to start being more -- what was it Daisy had called him that one night, when the children had not thought he was listening? Ah, yes. Human. He was not a relic of this old place, no matter how much he felt like one, and when he gazed upon Elsie, when he thought her name, when he considered the fact that she had actually said yes to his proposal with so little pause -- Yes, he felt very much alive, stronger, vibrant, and even younger than he had in years!

The subject of his thoughts looked up curiously as he entered for they were both aware of the sudden spring in his step. "Mister Carson?" she asked, almost crying aloud in surprise. Her tone lingered somewhere amongst bemusement and adoration, making his insides feel even warmer as though he was standing in front of the hearth in the Great Hall itself. He saw the twitch of her lips and knew she was struggling to keep from laughing. If anyone else had looked at him in such a manner, he might have felt jilted or at least annoyed, but for Elsie, he could feel nothing less than warmth. He felt a very great many other things as well, but none of them could he properly lay a name to until he could make things between them official.

Had he not already done so though? another part of him argued, a part long denied. He had spent his entire life working for one great cause or another. He was not a man accustomed to emotions, but rather, since he'd been a lad, to burying any emotions. They called him stoic, emotionless, rigid, a stone wall, even inhuman -- but the truth was, his life had left him with very little room to indulge in emotions. Elsie had only been the second woman he had ever dared to allow himself to love, and he had not come lightly to the decision to allow the emotion to enter his heart.

In truth, it had not been until she had told him the bleakness of her future that he had finally indulged. He had had little choice for when he had thought of a future without her... That was a notion even too cold for him to ignore. Her future caring for her sister forever might be bleak, but to think of a time in his life when he would never again get to see her beautiful face or indulge in seeking her sage advise -- That was a future of which he wanted no part, to put it simply. He'd had to think of something, and he had.

And she -- wonder of wonders -- had said yes!.

"Mister Carson?" her timid voice speaking a second time startled him out of his thoughts, and Carson looked quickly around them.

"We are quite alone, I assure you."

There was that small, knowing, but never disrespectful smile playing over his fiance's lips. He adored both her mouth and that respectful gesture so very much. For one wistful, childish moment, he considered bucking every protocol, grasping her, and kissing her firm on that mouth whose taste he had wondered about many a lonely night. But it would not be much longer now, he thought, and he had not worked his entire life to gain respect to be lost in a single moment. Besides, he had her reputation to think of as well, and he refused to ever allow anyone or thing, least of all himself, to place even the smallest mar on her perfect character.

He felt a deeper, darker heat creeping up his neck and knew, with distinct clarity, that he must swiftly say what he had come here this night to say and then away before she could see the impression she truly left on him. Cupping his hand around the candle he carried, he glanced around them once more. He knew he could trust her more than any other living being, but he also knew how easily these old walls grew proverbial ears. He would not have anyone tarnishing their moments, and he would not tell a soul until she had at last set a date and he was certain she would not change her mind.

Which was exactly why he had sought her out this eve. With the Master so ill and the Great Lady Cora so worried over her husband all day, Carson had been having a great deal of difficulty removing all of their mortalities from his mind. The Doctor had said the Master would recover, and he was certain he would -- but still time was of a short and fleeting nature. He would not allow the future he had worked for so long and had at last been promised to be taken from him, or to be taken from the wonderful lady before him. Even if something were to happen to him long before she was ready to leave this world, he had made other preparations besides their waiting abode. Once she was his wife, Elsie Hughes would never have to go without again. She would be able to care for her sister, but also be cared for herself in her advancing age.

He could think of no one better to cast his meager fortune on, a savings he had worked his entire life to build and, until recently, had had no one with whom to share it, and he could think of no one better to share his life with, no matter how long or short that life may be. "Missus Hughes," he spoke, careful to keep both his tone low and neutral and in choosing his words, "I have come to discuss a matter of great urgency and privacy with you."

"Oh?" she asked, her sweet, dark eyes widening. He'd always loved that look of surprise she wore when something unexpected happened -- but then, if he were being honest, he loved everything about this great woman.

"I have given it much thought, and although I have endeavored to make my intentions clear to you twice now, I realize that it was caddish of me to send Missus Pattmore to me my messenger, even if she was sent to me in that position of servitude first." It might have been the flickering candlelight, but Elsie seemed to blush a little as he spoke. Her eyes were the true warning, however, as they so often were the genuine reflections of her hidden thoughts as they started to lower from him. He realized he could have likely worded her friend's mission better, especially given the history between the two ladies, but that point was meager in comparison to the one that he had been practicing speaking in his head for hours now.

He had to get those words out, he knew, before he lost his courage, so he bolstered on before she could protest. "Missus Hughes -- " They were alone, and she looked so genuinely upset, perhaps even a mite fearful. He found himself softening. "Elsie -- "

She looked back up at him instantly, her round, beautiful eyes locking with his. Dear God, she was such a fetching creature! He hurried on bravely. "It was with no small consideration that I made the offer -- the proposal of marriage to you. I understand you are aging. We both are. Truly, if we were any younger, I likely would not have been able to find the courage to voice my feelings to you, let alone make such a brazen proposition. But the honest truth is, we are both growing older, and time is not our friend. That is why I have been trying so hard to encourage you to set a date. That and because I fear your changing your mind."

"I -- "

He hurried on, not giving her time to speak. "I would not blame if you did, and I certainly would not have blamed you for turning me down in the first place. But the truth is when I think of my golden years -- when I think of any time from here in the present onward -- there is no one, absolutely no one, I would rather have by my side. You have no rival, my dear friend, not in beauty, least not in my eyes, and certainly not in grace or wisdom. There is no one with whom I would prefer to go into a business partnership, and marriage is a great deal more. There is no one with whom I would rather share any part of my life, and our bodies may not be what they once were -- if indeed mine ever was -- " he admitted brusquely, feeling scarlet inching its way up his thick neck, " -- but you will be breathtaking to me at any age. The bottom line is, my dear, dear Missus Hughes, there is absolutely no one else I would have as my friend, my associate, my partner in any matter of the term, and especially not as my wife."

"You did me the greatest honor when you agreed to marry me, and yes, I do want a genuine marriage in all the senses of the term. I'll not settle for less if we are to do this thing. But I promise you I will respect you, I will admire you, I will love you just the way you are and have absolutely nothing to be bashful or afeared of. If you change your mind, I will understand, but there's naught that could fill me with more sorrow just as there was naught that could have made my old heart gladder or prouder than when you first agreed. You are the grandest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and being your husband, if you will allow it, sharing your life now and in the coming years, will truly be my greatest duty and reward, even greater, far greater, than serving this grand house and its family. I do hope you'll not rescind your agreement, but I promise to respect you even then."

He turned, before she could speak, and started to walk away before she could react. Her words followed after him in a great rush of Springtime air, "Of course I'll not rescind, you silly boon!"

He paused, the flickering wick of the candle licking at his old hand, and considered turning back to her for one moment. But she was not the only one feeling vulnerable and afraid of being seen, after these many decades. He kept his back to her, but called in return, "That makes me very, very happy, Missus Hughes."

"Soon it will be Missus Carson."

His smile could have lit the entire corridor as he continued along his final duties of the night.



The End