title: how to say it in human
fandom: Guardian
pairings: Da Qing<>Zhao Yunlan, Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, implied Da Qing?Shen Wei
words: ~1,600
contents: banter, fluff, a bit of H/C if you squint, spoilers through Episode 13, poly relationship negotiations, unfamiliar Cat Tribe protocols

Summary: "It's when they stretch their hand waaay out so you can sniff them without getting too close. But all the time, even when you’re letting them pet you.”

[This is the third story in the cat always wins. You don't have to read those for this to make sense, but they're cute and fluffy and you might like them!]


Late afternoon sun pours in through the windows at Bright Street, spilling bars of golden light across the balcony. Yunlan throws himself onto the sun-warmed leather couch there and sighs as he settles into the cushions. It’s just like the one at his apartment for a reason -- when he can’t go home, at least he can come up here and pretend.

Lin Jing had said it would be at least half an hour before all the earpieces are ready, so Yunlan has a little time to poke at the complex tangle of anger and fear that’s snarled in his chest. He can’t afford to have his emotions distract him today, not when he’s hunting Zhu Jiu and the Hallows.

Maybe he’ll get lucky, and Shen Wei abandoning them after the wedding was just an opportunity for Hei Pao Shi to make a coincidental appearance. But Yunlan isn’t holding his breath. Shen Wei had made himself more than clear: they shouldn’t expect help from him, in any guise.

Yunlan doesn’t bother to open his eyes when the cushions dip a minute after he settles in. Da Qing sprawls across the length of the couch, shifting until his whole torso is draped over Yunlan’s lap.

Yunlan closes his eyes and just breathes in the sun and the warm weight against him. Something tight and dark inside him unfurls slightly. He’d been terrified last night when he realized Da Qing was gone. The cat might have nine lives, but Yunlan doesn’t want to lose any of them.

He lets his hand slide through that silky hair, petting softly. Da Qing sighs and melts more bonelessly against him.

“You’re heavy, cat,” Yunlan says automatically, but he doesn’t stop stroking.

Da Qing doesn’t even twitch. “Too bad.”

It’s not typical for Da Qing to do this in human form. The cat won’t show it, but he must be just as shaken up as Yunlan is. He was abandoned with the girl, kidnapped, used to steal the Hallows, and left behind to assault his friends. When they finally got him back, he was tossed right into the attack at the wedding with no time to recover. And he’d rolled with it.

“You did good today,” Yunlan tells him, digging his fingers into Da Qing’s scalp a little.

“Of course I did.” The words are muffled against Yunlan’s knee. “I’m a professional.”

“A professional pain in my ass.”

His teasing doesn’t get the snappy response he expects. Instead, Da Qing’s fingers curl around Zhao Yunlan’s shins, holding on.

“Do you think Hei Pao Shi is angry with us?”

“Ah.”

That. Yunlan has to remind himself that Da Qing doesn’t know about Shen Wei, doesn’t know anything about his stubborn refusal to tell the truth. Da Qing is only talking about the Envoy failing to tell them about Zheng Yi.

If he’d even hinted that Zhu Jiu might have a reason to be interested in her, Yunlan would’ve made sure she was guarded. But Shen Wei hadn’t trusted them -- trusted him -- even that far.

“It’d be fair. I’m angry with him.”

Da Qing’s fingers dig in hard, and Yunlan is thankful the cat doesn’t keep his claws in this form. “Don’t be stupid. Wait, I forgot -- don’t be more stupid than usual.”

“Why do I put up with you? Insubordinate cat.”

“You’re repeating yourself.” Yunlan can hear the smirk, even if he can’t see it.

He strokes down Da Qing’s spine, skin warmer than a human’s, even through his t-shirt.

“I think…” Yunlan trails off, trying to work around the hurt and anger to whatever Shen Wei might’ve been thinking last night. “Hei Pao Shi wanted to protect the girl.”

“From us?”

“From himself, maybe." And whatever fate awaited her in Dixing. Would there be mercy for her age? Could there be? "Tan Xiao took responsibility for her crimes. Maybe Hei Lao-ge hoped it would be enough.”

Da Qing turns over suddenly and bats at Zhao Yunlan’s face. It isn’t a hard slap, but it still stings.

“Ow!”

“That’s for leaving me to be kidnapped!”

“Hey!” Yunlan rubs his cheek. “You could’ve just run away when Zhu Jiu showed up.”

Da Qing makes a face. “Zheng Yi grabbed me. What is it with you humans and holding me so my paws don’t touch the ground?”

Zhao Yunlan looks at him, belly-up across the couch, hands folded in on themselves, and tries not to laugh. Da Qing is adorable, in every form. “I have no idea.”

“Psh.” Da Qing flops back over. “We should call him.”

Zhao Yunlan sighs. Da Qing is technically right; they should call Hei Pao Shi, ignore the lies, and move on. But Yunlan's not willing to beg for Shen Wei’s help again, not when those lies have caused so much trouble. Yunlan is just going to have to force Shen Wei to reveal himself.

But in the meantime, he can say this much. “It’s fine. Professor Shen can tell him.”

Da Qing freezes. “What?”

“He works for Hei Pao Shi.”

Da Qing flails and almost falls off the couch. He ends up crouched on the cushions at the far end, hands curled defensively.

“Don’t tell him I told you.”

The cat stares at him for a long moment, blinking, then throws himself at Yunlan with a howl.

“You!”

Da Qing slaps at the back of Yunlan’s head, then his shoulder, before Yunlan manages to grab both of his wrists. They tumble off the couch to the floor with a thump. But Da Qing’s attacks are too uncoordinated to land, and Yunlan manages to pin him down with a knee in his back and one arm twisted up behind him.

“Damn Cat, what the hell?”

Da Qing struggles against his hold. “You! You were all heart-eyes and mooning over him! I told you he was Dixingren!”

Yunlan loosens the arm lock enough to not dislocate the cat’s shoulder, but is too surprised to back off. He hadn’t expected Da Qing to care this much.

“I let him feed me, you jerk!”

Yunlan blinks. “You take food from anyone.”

“I take it, I don’t let them give it to me.” Da Qing practically spits the words into the floor.

Oh. Yunlan has unknowingly stumbled into unfamiliar Cat Tribe protocols. This one at least makes a certain amount of logical sense: tribute is fine, but a cat can’t rely on just anyone.

Which also means that Shen Wei had sneaked past that particular defense, too.

Da Qing stops struggling suddenly and melts. “He made me like him.”

Yunlan lets go. He half-expects the sudden submission is a trap, but Da Qing doesn’t scramble away. Yunlan lies down next to him. “Me too.”

Da Qing's breath stutters in a sound suspiciously like holding back tears before he finally shifts to cat form. He scrambles over to huddle on Yunlan's chest. Even with the sun making his fur shimmer, the cat manages to look unhappy.

“So how do we get back at him?”

Yunlan turns to stare along the balcony and sighs. “Please don’t offer to scratch him again. I’d rather not get Hei Pao Shi involved.”

There's a pause, then the tentative press of a paw on his chin. "You still like him.”

“Yeah. I do.” Isn’t that the problem? He still likes Shen Wei, still trusts him, even when Shen Wei has finally given them reason not to.

There's a tiny hint of sharp claws pricking at his chin in warning. “He’s devious. And smart.”

Yunlan can't help chuckling at that. “Two of my favorite things.”

Da Qing rides out the earthquake of Yunlan's laughter, but says nothing. After a minute, the cats lifts a paw and starts washing.

Yunlan stares up at the ceiling and doesn’t interrupt. He'd never admit it to Da Qing, but he finds the whole washing ritual just as relaxing to sit with as Da Qing seems to find it to do. If they stay here much longer, he might just fall asleep.

Some time later, Da Qing finally speaks. “So we steal him from Hei Pao Shi.”

Yunlan blinks himself awake. Da Qing is going to be so angry with him when this particular secret comes out. “I don’t think that’s possible.”

There are claws on his chin again. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty,” the cat says in a voice full of disdain.

“Aw.” Yunlan reaches up to rub behind Da Qing's ears. The claws soften and come back as the paw flexes in the rhythm of his fingers. “You say the nicest things.”

“Seriously, you wouldn’t even have to be pretty. That man wants you to shed on his pillow.”

Yunlan stills, trying to figure out what that means for someone who compulsively cleans other people's apartments.

“Ugh. I don’t know how to say it in human." Da Qing butts against his hand until he starts petting again. "When they stretch their hand waaay out so you can sniff them without getting too close. But all the time, even when you’re letting them pet you.”

Huh. “Yeah, okay.” It's a warm feeling, to think that Shen Wei wants to go out of his way to make Yunlan happy. He'd rather give up on his anger entirely, but he can't let Shen Wei keep hiding information from them.

“I’m bringing him into the SID.” That part isn’t negotiable. If nothing else, their professional relationship needs to be solid, or someone else will get hurt.

“Of course you are.” Da Qing snickers at him. “But no, really, that’s not bad. He can pass messages both ways then. Especially when you piss off Hei Pao Shi again.”

Yunlan rolls his eyes, but he can't help grinning. Da Qing must be feeling better, to be talking back like this. “Hey! I wasn’t in the wrong this time.”

“This time.” The cat snickers again.

“I can always tell lao-Li you’re tired of fish snacks.”

“He won’t believe you.”

“Probably not.”

Da Qing suddenly shifts human again, sprawled across Yunlan's chest like a giant pillow. A really overly warm, heavy pillow that pins him to the floor.

“He’s too good for you, you know." Da Qing mutters it into Yunlan's shoulder. "Even if he is a sneaky spy.”

“Is he good enough for you?” Yunlan asks.

Da Qing snorts softly. “No. No one is. He doesn’t deserve to touch my whiskers.”

“You let lots of people pet you, cat.”

“But they don’t deserve it. I just deign to allow it.”

“Hm.” Yunlan finds his attention wandering to the warmth of the sun on his face and the soft animal smell of Da Qing's hair. He can make smart remarks in his sleep, and is seriously considering letting that happen. The floor really wouldn't have been Yunlan's first choice for a nap, but it's not his last choice, either.

“I’m really very generous that way.”

“Practically a saint.” At least, Yunlan thinks that's what he says.

Da Qing rolls just enough to stretch a hand up and start stroking Yunlan's hair gently, and it feels so good as Yunlan is drifting off.

“Don’t worry, Ah-Lan. I’ll steal him for you.”