Title: i'm faking glory
Fandom: tvd
Rating: teen
Length: ~1000 words
Author notes: s5e12 au, petrova gen, title from lorde's bravado

If Katherine had gone into Nadia’s body, this would be a very different story. But she has been preparing to become Elena Gilbert for years, can have everything she ever wanted. Everything the precious Elena was handed.

(Alternatively: The passenger spell is altered by their doppelganger status.)

The first wave of memories hits her, and Elena crumples. Still in the tomb, Nadia stands guard over a chanting Mia. The real world fades away as Elena sees a babe take her first breath, she is both spectator and mother, screams as the child is taken from her. Stefan is kissing her, in the past, in the present- saying he’ll always love her. She’s trapped in the cave, starving, sinking her teeth into Jeremy; Jeremy’s falling dead to the ground, neck snapped and Damon in the corner. Damon kissing her, angry, and Klaus twirls her around the ballroom, teeth far too sharp. Elijah’s promises are sweet, but he is the one that brought her to his brother. Her parents are dead, drowned in the river, run through with a sword, dissolving beneath the sun. She’s running, ever faster- through the woods, the school, endless towns and cities, always running.

The memories come too quick to follow, flashes of faces and blood and feelings. The world goes blissfully dark and quiet, consciousness slipping away.

.

She wakes in the tomb once more, the traveler talking to Mia about payment. In a blink, Mia’s heart is in her hand, satisfaction tinged with regret. The body falls, revealing a smiling Nadia.

“Well that answers if the spell worked.”

She smirks, a safe acknowledgment. “Let’s clean up and go home.”

Nadia beams at her, all hopeful and surprised and in that heartbreaking moment, she’s sure she is Elena.

.

It doesn’t last. The certainty, that is.

There are two lives she knows, both feel as though she’s lived them. But her mind, her mind doesn’t fit. She cares too much about Nadia to be Elena, too little about leaving Mystic Falls to be Katherine. Neither or both, yet either answer feels inadequate. Perhaps they were the same the whole time, neither wanting to see just how similar they could be.

“Katherine, how are you feeling?”

And as she sits with her maybe-daughter, a few towns away so they won’t be interrupted over dinner, she decides it doesn’t matter.

“Call me Elena from now on, no need to be caught on a small detail.”

“Elena,” she corrects, rolling her eyes, “how are you?”

“Perfect.” Their compelled waiter returns to top off their glasses with a slit wrist, and she takes Nadia’s hands.

“I will never be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done.”

Nadia blinks quickly, “Your new body must be rubbing off on you.”

She laughs, easy and light, letting go of her hands. “I am unburdened by my past. We are free of Klaus, of all the past enemies. Tell me, what would you like to do?”

Nadia’s face practically glows, guilt thickening in her throat. No child should be so happy by a mere question- Petrovas are supposed to be fire. Unquenchable by others, consuming all there is and burning all the brighter for it.

“I haven’t traveled much in America. Tell me, where is your favorite place?”

The answer is easy and bittersweet- it will always be Mystic Falls. Even though it holds nearly all her worst memories, it holds all the best as well. But she doesn’t want to be stuck here, chained to the ghost of Elena Gilbert.

“I haven’t been out west, not properly. Why don’t we go on a road trip and decide together?”

Nadia bites her lip, “I thought you’d want to stay.”

A large part of her does. Her brother, her friends, the love of her lives- all in one hellish town. But the idea of becoming a sitting duck for the next inevitable disaster, pretending to be one girl from her memories, is too abhorrent. Perhaps she really is Katherine.

“I want us to have the life we’ve never had- happy and stable and safe. For so many years I wished you by my side, and you can finally be there without any danger.” Nadia’s eyes are wet, and she adopts a smirk and teasing tone. “If you’d rather stay in town with Matty blue eyes though-”

Nadia chokes out a laugh, pulling her into a tight hug. “No, let’s leave this place.”

.

Her friends take the news better than she thought they would. Caroline’s angry but understanding, and after Bonnie touches her shoulder, she doesn’t ask any questions. (A thread of panic shoots through her, but Bonnie says nothing about sensing her self’s difference.) Jeremy says he’ll join her if she takes too long, and by then, any personality changes can be chalked up to time. Damon isn’t around, but she hasn’t seen him much since the break up, no longer feels consumed by him.

She says good-bye to Stefan last. It’s always been Stefan, it’s easier to admit now. Easier to point out the past mistakes when they feel like they don’t entirely belong to her.

“I’ll always love you,” she says, marveling at how his face softens. She could kiss him right now, stammer out an apology, and bring him west with them. It’d be oh-so easy, and is oh-so tempting.

But she wants their next attempt to be their last, and they need time and space for that. So she settles for a tight hug, Stefan whispering that he loves her against her hair.

She pulls back before her resolve can weaken, cupping his face.

“We can be together again, one day.”

.

Elena Pierce becomes a photography student at Pitzer. The school itself is in southern California, a walk away from mountains and wastelands. There’s something about capturing reality as it is, not as one wishes it, that soothes her. (Writing doesn’t feel honest these days, her journal tucked away for good.)

Nadia goes to college as well, thrives on the social aspect of it. She’s doing religious studies, and Elena’s fairly certain it’s only because she enjoys arguing with the professors so much. Nadia thinks the new version of her mother is due to fearlessness, and she doesn’t correct her. Nadia’s happy- they’re both happy- the minute details don’t matter.

What is a person but a projection of their memories?

(She can’t even remember what it felt like to be so terrified of being a copy.)