Title: Goodbye
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: G
Length: 500
Warning: None.
Summary: It's a change of seasons, a change of life.
Notes: Also under 'Rough' and 'Choices' Challenges.



His first visit is to Martha. Bright and strong Martha Jones who is married to a brilliant and equally strong Mickey Smith, a human he had ignored for too long because he couldn’t compare to Rose—his Rose.

He just wanted a glimpse; he gave them one, too. Married and happy, but soldiers because of him. Hard not to hate himself for that.

His second visit is to save the son of his Sarah Jane, his friend from long ago. She was his one bright spark. His hope. His human. His only wish—no. The time for that had come and gone. He is a new man now; a new face soon to be a newer man with a newer face.

Jack is his third visit. There is an understanding there, in a simple glance. One last, 'Stop it,' that can’t be said because he is the one who introduces them. The Face of Boe, they will call him. He wished he knew that earlier. He wished he knew much more.

Then to the granddaughter of the love of his life—his human life. John Smith is still in him, somewhere, the memories of her light touches and brief kisses still seared into his skin like a long-forgotten memory. He has ruined so many lives that it is a mercy to know that he hadn’t ruined hers. She lived her life, lived it well. But, it wasn’t with him, and for a Time Lord with infinite years, that still hurts him somewhat.

Seeing Donna is more painful than he thought. Happy, oblivious Donna Noble who will never call him, ‘Spaceman’ or ‘Dumbo’ again. His brilliant Donna, more important that she knows. His mate who didn’t want to mate…

He laughs despite how it hurts.

His last visit is to Rose—his Rose Tyler. There are so many things that he would have liked to have told her, things on the tip of his tongue. He only promises her a great year, when all he wants is to grab her hand one last time and whisper, ‘Run’ in her ear. He wants her breathless beside him, keeping up with his long limbs as she cries out, ‘Doctor’, with a brilliant laugh.

He wants—

He wants—

He can’t. Not now, not ever. It’s unfair, but he still wants. He wants her; he wants this life! Staggering to the TARDIS, he begs the universe to change its mind. Please.

“I don’t want to go…”

It’s the last thing that he thinks, feels, whispers. He’s alone, as it was always meant to be, just him and his TARDIS with no one to go back to.

Then there’s a bright light, warm and soothing, but painful all the same. His hearts hurt as they twists and change; his life, the one that hurt more than all others flashing through his mind, the regret, the pain, all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘why not’s?’ and then there is nothing.

With one final burst of energy… he’s gone.