raaj: [ff7] cloud & aerith on the gondola (Default)
Raaj ([personal profile] raaj) wrote in [community profile] fan_flashworks2014-03-10 06:26 pm

Bravely Default: Fanfic: Smooth Talker

Title: Smooth Talker
Fandom: Bravely Default: Where the Fairy Flies
Characters: Alternis Dim, Lee family
Rating: PG/SFW
Length: 484 words
Content Notes: Spoilers for chapter 4's end!
Summary: Women and men have different ways of talking, and Alternis grew up in a country of women. Adjusting to Eternia comes with a small hitch.

Women and men have different ways of talking, at least in Eternia. This makes the new arrival from Florem stick out like a sore thumb: he is a young man grown in a country of women, and as much as he takes great offense when his manhood is called into doubt, there's no denying that his manner of speaking makes him sound more like the women he learned to speak from. Mahzer is no linguist, so she's not quite able to put her finger on all that makes his words stand out as different from the men's--the higher intonation is obvious enough, but there's more, little things beyond that. The Florem flourish sounds different in a boy's voice, but it's definitely present. When he is patient and in a good mood, which is usually when he is found with little Edea, the little questions stand out: "Right?", "You follow?", always making sure the younger child is keeping up with him when she's not tearing along her own line of thought. It's perhaps a bit strange to hear a young man talk in such a way, but his voice is clear and sweet enough to make it rather becoming.

But he is a young man entering Eternia's army, and Mahzer knows all too well how certain officers, Crowe and Heinkel in particular, feel about women and femininity. Their attitudes infect the ranks and it's all too often that Alternis is in a sour and recalcitrant mood, mocked when he speaks for how he does and mocked when he bites his tongue, and Braev is soon sighing that the only solution the boy seems to have found is to speak with his fists--which is, at least, a step up from his blade, but still not good for keeping order in the ranks. It's easier for one to change than a multitude, so it's no surprise that after some weeks Alternis is deliberately pitching his voice deeper and rougher, and the rolling tones of his motherland begin to vanish. It's a somewhat regrettable change, but as the weeks turn into months and months turn into years, it's all but forgotten by the Lee family. Braev, Mahzer and Edea have all grown used to the clipped tones Alternis has come to use and can hardly imagine him speaking any other way. The memory of how Alternis was when he first arrived into their lives only comes to Mahzer's mind when she is face to face with Edea and her daughter's new friends. She asks them to take care of her daughter and one young man assures her, with a bow even, that he would never do anything but. While his words alone would make her happy, his voice broadens her smile further. He's only got a hint of it, but he has it, that novel Florem flourish. It goes perfectly with his charming manner.
sanctum_c: (Default)

[personal profile] sanctum_c 2014-03-11 08:29 am (UTC)(link)
I like the details here; especially the idea that the most sexist characters in the ranks aren't going to be respectful of Alternis's speech patterns/influence those under their command serving to isolate him. And how that feeds into changing that pattern deliberately which contributes to the lack of recognition later when the Lee family meet Ringabel (did Alternis basically never remove his armour after a while?).
Edited 2014-03-11 08:30 (UTC)
sanctum_c: (Default)

Re: /rambles

[personal profile] sanctum_c 2014-03-11 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah! I was going to ask what you'd meant about the writers getting lazy, but somehow I forgot. That was a little worrying to read; some of it at least reads like they've got some ideas for later in the series, but too many of those responses were we never considered that. Right with you on the table-flipping. I *really* hope they do better with Bravely Second (there is an interview somewhere where the producers mentioned concentrating more on the story this time). Anyway.

Ringabel reverting to his original accent and behaviors is a very attractive theory, and in light of what there is to work with having Alternis never remove the armor in public seems the most workable solution (making me think of Judge Dredd...). Oh; could the Dark Knight asterisk be some kind of family heirloom that he wound up with? I like the idea he already had it which helps with preventing him being recognised. And... I'm never quite sure, but I do wonder if there are really only one copy of each asterisk in the world (quite likely since Yulyana is the only one capable of making them - still wishing that was gone into a little more).

Ah, true Braev and Mahzer recognize him regardless later on. I think I ran into some people theorizing that Alternis and Ringabel were the same person at the same time just yesterday. Its kind of an interesting theory, but yeah invalidated by the game and distances (it did impress me when there was a later party chat about how long they were sailing on the Eschalot)..

Ah - I think I need to read D's journal more thoroughly as I didn't know about that little bit about the infiltration. Yeah that whole note just causes no end of problems (though now I have silly visions of Alternis drinking via a really long straw that disappears into his helmet...). Dammit writers! Its as if Alternis/Ringabel was a late on decision and they didn't correct for it in the preceding story, or at the very best the D's journal entry was written really early and left unchanged.
sanctum_c: (Default)

Re: /rambles

[personal profile] sanctum_c 2014-03-12 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
I would bet that the stretched feeling of chapters 5 to 8 also result out of interesting ideas but forgetting to mesh them (especially as it sounds like in the original version the sub-quests were unchanged. So glad they changed that as those changes were what made it worth keep returning to them. Especially after Holly and Barras fake their death and she pounces him). Hopefully there is a sufficient amount of head-canon to cover the plot holes... (and Bravely Second requires a lot less...)

Ah; along with not having read D's journal very thoroughly, I'd forgotten about the abandonment, so yeah the heirloom doesn't make much sense. The legend of the slums one is interesting, I think in keeping with the game's mechanics I like the idea that he was attacked by the asterisk holder and managed to defeat them through wits, instinct and luck.

Yes! That's the chat in question.

I will read the journal more thoroughly; been skimming through the event viewer for detail for some fic ideas for the new prompt (it kind of feels tailor-made for Bravely Default)...
sanctum_c: (Default)

Re: /rambles

[personal profile] sanctum_c 2014-03-12 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha - so would I! Or at least started skipping the side-quests as much as possible, and yeah it is a little remarkable it did well enough for it to gain the re-release with some fixes in place.