Title: Five times Jack didn't say "I love you," and later wished he had
Author: godsdaisiechain
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairing: Janck and Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Tosh
Words: ~1100
Rating: R
Summary: Ianto and Jack grow closer without realizing it.
Notes: Set right after "Captain Jack Harkness" and during "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang"




One
Ianto closed the taxi door as Tosh scolded Owen for picking at his gunshot wound.  “As a doctor you should know better.”  Gwen had gone home to her full-time shag and true love, leaving Owen with the woman who loved him, explaining data she had collected about gunshot wounds and a cross analysis of the impact of the injuries sorted by different angles and depths and cross referenced by joints and species.  It seemed a fitting punishment for all his “tea boy” comments.

Back inside the Hub, Jack was reviewing the tapes of the evening and cursing in a manner more innovative than his sexual antics.  “…. we sent directions.  How hard is it to open the Rift without messing everything up?”

“Coffee, sir,”  Ianto set down the steaming cup of special industrial strength blend.  There was something behind Jack’s anger about the Rift.  Some hurt. He looked like he needed a hug.

“Thanks,” Jack said, his face softer than usual.  “You shouldn’t be here, Ianto.” He drank, closed his eyes with pleasure… the same way he closed his eyes when Ianto did other things.  Things they never spoke about afterward, even when they admitted to “dabbling” with each other.

“It’s not your name, then, sir?  Jack Harkness?  There were two of you in the paper.”  Ianto could have kicked himself, but he needed to say something.

Jack rubbed his face.  “I assumed you knew that.  Did Tosh put you up to this?”


“No. I’m sorry, sir,” Ianto moved to leave, but Jack reached out and touched his hand.  The electric current of their mutual desire held Ianto in place.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said. “So Owen called you a tea boy and my part time shag before you shot him on my behalf?”

Ianto bit back the pain.  He’d gotten good at being nothing but pain and projecting a competent and calm exterior, even cheerful if need be.  “He’s just upset because that’s all he is to Gwen, sir.”  He watched as Jack twined their fingers together, feeling the tingle in his toes. No one else had ever made him feel that way.

“And you?”  Jack said, smoothing his palm against Ianto’s.

“I’m more than a tea boy,” Ianto said.  “I know how much you need me.”

Jack moved closer, pulled Ianto against him with his free hand. Ianto could feel him trembling.  “You are certainly much more than a tea boy, but I’m not sure you do know.”  Ianto reached up touched Jack’s lower lip with a finger.  Jack kissed it, then each of Ianto’s eyelids.  Ianto’s lips fell open and Jack lightly brushed his mouth with a coffee-flavored tongue. “You have no idea.  Will you stay with me tonight?”  It was a relatively rare invitation and what it meant was “I realized tonight that I love you.”

“Of course, sir,” Ianto said, getting his feet settled more firmly on the floor.  “It would be my pleasure.”

“I’ll see to your pleasure,” Jack said.  “Send a message that we’ll be starting late tomorrow.”

“Already done, sir.”

Two
Later that night, Ianto’s eyelids fluttered open as Jack kissed his forehead and covered him with the sheet, wishing he had a blanket. “I didn’t think you could do so much with a few ice cubes,” Ianto murmured.

“Go back to sleep, Ianto,” Jack whispered in his ear, rubbing his back and kissing his head, then noticing a blanket folded up on a chair.  “I’ll be back soon.” Ianto made an indistinct noise and said ‘sir’ as Jack tucked him in.  Jack chuckled and kissed him again.

Jack made sure Ianto was sleeping soundly before he slipped out.  He pulled up the microfilm of the image of himself and the real Jack Harkness, trailed his fingers over that briefly-known face, tears leaking from his eyes.   “Sir?”   Ianto had padded, naked, from the bed. Jack opened an arm, gathered his lover into his lap.

“He was very hot,” Ianto said, brushing the tears from Jack’s face. “Although not as hot as you.”

“Did Tosh tell you what happened?”

“She may have mentioned something,” Ianto said, resting his head against Jack’s, tracing his lips with gentle fingers.  “Come back to bed?”

Jack rubbed the bare back.  “You seem sleepy.”

“Not very,” Ianto yawned, standing up and taking Jack’s hand.

Jack followed Ianto back to bed, and soothed him to sleep, then lay awake, the reassuring weight of his lover feeling almost like the man really called Jack Harkness.  In the morning, Jack found an original newspaper cutting on his desk.  “For your tin” the note said in Ianto’s handwriting.  “I love you, Ianto Jones,” Jack said.

Three, Four
That night, Jack pretended to have a meeting and went round to Ianto’s flat with flowers—a dozen red roses—while the others were still working.  Ianto, bleary-eyed with sleep, opened the door in his pyjama trousers and a battered t-shirt with a picture of a pterodactyl on it.  “Not as hot as you either,” Jack said.  “I should have mentioned that.”

“Do you care to come in, sir?” Ianto asked, trying to smooth down his hair with one hand and take in the roses.  He didn't usually get a late-night shag call after an all-night session.

Jack helped, closed the door behind himself. “I woke you,” he said, but what he really meant was “I love you.”

“I don’t mind,” Ianto said, but what he meant was “I love you, too.”  He wrapped Jack in a hug, and Jack closed his eyes like a man coming home to his true love after a long and arduous journey.  They wandered toward the couch, but Jack set a hand at the small of Ianto’s back and steered him to the bedroom.  They kissed until Ianto fell asleep.

“How can you always know what I need and not understand how much I love you?” Jack murmured as Ianto slept.

In the morning, Ianto woke to find Jack still in his bed.  “Hey,” Jack said. “Let’s get you out of these pyjamas.”

Five
Months later, Jack returned and finally asked Ianto out on a proper date.  “I came back for you….all of you,” he said, looking right at Ianto.  It wasn’t until Tosh died that Ianto understood that Jack was trying, once again, to say “I love you.”

That night, after Gwen went home to Rhys, Jack came and rested his head on Ianto’s shoulder.  “I don’t know how I would carry on without you, Ianto Jones.”

Ianto choked back his annoyance at the way Jack had carried on with John when he came back, cupped Jack’s head in a hand.  “I’ll do my best to make sure you never have to.”